


I Will Deliver

by lunasumerin



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Blackwatch Jesse McCree, Deadlock McCree, I'll warn for them in the chapter summary, M/M, Slow Burn, This is going to be long so prepare yourselves, also lots of terrible things will happen, but there will be nice things too eventually, not sure how descriptive I'll make the non-con things, you are warned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 05:23:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8315539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunasumerin/pseuds/lunasumerin
Summary: The terrible life of Jesse McCree.





	1. Chapter 1

He felt a light slap against the back of his head, his loose brown curls then caught up in a gentle ruffling. Jesse looked up from the acoustic guitar that was taking up his entire lap. His father was standing over him with a slight frown on his face, which just brought a pout to the boy's lips.

"Jess, you have your fingers too low, its throwing off your playing."

"Papa.. its hard. Mah arms're too short." His chubby child's face scrunched up in frustration, his brown eyes watering slightly.

His father's frown turned into a soft sympathetic smile as he knelt down next to the boy who was a bit small for his seven years but sharp as a tack. The hand in his hair became more soothing, brushing the hair away from Jesse's forehead. "Don't worry you'll grown into it." His father's hands then carefully pulled the boy's hair back and tied it in a short ponytail.

"Can'na watch mah vids now?" His chest puffed up and his father laughed softly, nodding to the brown haired boy.

That was enough for him and the small boy excitedly bounced up to his feet, while still being careful with the guitar he'd been practicing with. He put it back in its case before running up the mud brick steps to his upstairs room. With a grin on his face he flopped heavily onto his bed, grabbing his remote while doing so and pressing the play button.

The fuzzy screen on his tv flickered a little before an old western appeared on the screen and the boy was caught up in the movie, completely enthralled by the cowboys on the screen and mouthing the lines along with the actor. He knew all the lines by heart, he'd watched this particular movie hundreds of times, and yet he couldn't get enough of it. Maybe it was the fact that there were houses in it that were similar to his adobe styled house, or maybe he just loved the drawl of the character's voices. Either way he'd never gotten bored with them, content to watch them until he dozed off.

"Jesse! Its time for dinner!" The boy jolted awake and rubbed the sleep from his eyes before he hopped out of bed and headed downstairs towards the kitchen where his mother had called to him. "Ay... go wash your hands first." She pointed right back out of the room, her other hand on her hip. "You know better than to come to the table with unwashed hands."

"Si Mama." He scurried back out before he was scolded any further and quickly went to wash his hands.

Both of his parents were sitting at the table when he returned. Jesse plopped into his chair, his plate already piled with food and waiting for him. A glass of milk sitting next to it while his parents were already eating and discussing things that he didn't understand so he ignored them to shovel spicy rice into his mouth. He paused with the spoon halfway to his mouth when he realized that his mother was asking him a question.

"Jesse, did Mrs. Ramirez say it was okay for you to spend the night with Refugio?" His brown eyes considered his mother silently for a moment before nodding enthusiastically.

"Yep! Gonna watch vids wit' Cuco all niiiiight." His mother shook her head a little before sighing and looking over at her husband.

"This was your idea you know." The words sounded long suffering, yet still affectionate and were rewarded with a light chuckle and a shrug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short first chapter, but I wanted to just post SOMETHING. The rest will be much longer. I haven't written any fics for a few years and I need something on here. I'll post chapters pretty much whenever I get them done and beta'd.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> scary things happen.

  
Jesse bounced about in the backseat of his parent's old car and babbled excitedly while peering out the window to catch the first glimpse of his friend's house. It had been an entire week since he'd last seen his friend and for a seven year old that was a long time.  
  
When the Ramirez house came into view he only became even more excited and clutched his backpack tightly in his arms. The stetson hat that had belonged to his grandfather sat lopsided on his head, much too big for him. He didn't care though, it was his favorite possession and he took it with him everywhere.  
  
Jesse was out the car door soon as it had stopped moving, his short legs carrying him quickly across the scrub grass that made up the front lawn of the Ramirez household. Refugio was already waiting for him on the steps and he jumped up excitedly and the two boys crashed into each other, tumbling around on the ground for a moment. A sharp bark of Refugio's mother's voice making them halt and get back up to their feet.  
  
She waved to Jesse's parents who called out a few have fun comments before heading off and leaving their son in the care of his friend's family. Refugio's mother snapped her fingers and the boys rushed into the house, kicking their shoes off at the door and racing to the living room and depositing themselves on the floor in front of the tv.  
  
Jesse had already opened his backpack and was digging out the old discs that held his movies. _"Which one ya wanna watch first Cuco?"_ Jesse's speech easily flipping over to spanish, since his friend's family used it in their house almost exclusively. It was also a way of encouraging Jesse to learn to use it as easily as he spoke english. His parents and Mrs. Ramirez had agreed that it would be helpful if he knew both, but his own parents couldn't speak anything other than english so they were grateful that their boy had the chance to be multilingual.  
  
_"Let's watch the one with the cool theme song."_ Cuco held his hand out to Jesse, and the boy handed over his prized disc. It was promptly put in the old player and they flopped their small bodies onto the couch to watch the movie. Of course being children they couldn't sit still through the whole thing. They were up and pretending to shoot each other with imaginary revolvers partway through the movie.  
  
Jesse leapt up on the couch, his hat almost completely covering his eyes. _"Get ready Tuco!"_ Jesse pretended to do some fancy gun work while Refugio jumped up onto his father's recliner.  
  
_"Do your worst Blondie!"_ That just sent them both into giggles and they collapsed onto the furniture under their laughter.  
  
They were just starting to calm down from the laughing fit when there was a booming thunder-like noise that left their ears ringing, and the entire house shook. A deep rumble in the earth trailing after the shock that sent the two boys to the floor. Refugio's mother hurried into the room and grabbed both of them by their arms, dragging them quickly into the back room. She moved a carpet and lifted up a section of floorboards. There was a narrow staircase leading down into the small dark basement.  
  
_"Quickly boys, go go! Stay there until I say!"_ She ushered them down and replaced the wooden slats of the floor. Returning the carpet to its place. Jesse and Refugio huddled together in a corner of the dusty room. The look that had been on Mrs. Ramirez's face terrified them and they both were sniffling and trying vainly not to cry. They were big boys after all. At least they told themselves that even as there was another loud boom and the ground shook even harder than the first time.  
  
They could hear things fall off the walls and break on the floor above their heads. Suddenly there was another deafening sound and they were both thrown harshly to the floor by a wave of pressure as the house collapsed above them. Thick dust filled the air and they coughed for a good few minutes until the dust settled. They were both fully crying at this point as they could hear the rattle of continuous gunfire somewhere above ground.  
  
There was another sound under the banging of the guns and the thunder of what sounded like cannon fire, and when Jesse realized it was screaming, he felt his thighs warm. It took him a minute to realize he'd just wet himself. His friend was shaking against his side, no better off than he was. It was the most frighted he'd ever been, and all they could do was just stay there, hugging each other and whimpering as the commotion continued, muffled, above their heads.  
  
Jesse wasn't sure how long they'd been down there by the time it grew quiet. There was no light that could reach them and he was pretty sure he'd fallen asleep at some point. When he shifted to sit back up, Refugio mumbled incoherently, asleep.  
  
His body ached and he pushed against the wall to stand up. Fresh tears leaking from his eyes as he coughed a couple times from the dust that he'd inhaled when the house collapsed. His small hands patted at the walls trying to find the staircase. He stumbled against it, his shin banged hard into the old wood and made him cry out in pain. The sound roused Refugio who just started crying after a brief moment. Jesse turned around and shuffled back over to his friend and squatted next to him.  
  
_"Shhh.. we gotta be quite Cuco."_ Something in him, likely instinct and too many movies, told him that they should be as quiet as they possibly could. _"Could be bad guys."_ All he got from that was a scared wail and he had to quickly cover his friend's mouth with his hands. The boy got the idea though and bit his tongue, although he still whimpered.  
  
He went back to the stairs and crawled up them, his head bumped a little roughly against the ceiling and he bit his lip hard enough to make it bleed just to stop the pained noise from escaping. He grabbed at his head and pushed his hat off, letting it hang against his back. His tiny hands scrabbled at the wood above him, desperate to get the trapdoor open. It didn't budge and all he got for his effort was splinters in his fingers and more dust slipping through the cracks in the wood. He felt his cheeks grow warm and he rubbed furiously at his eyes to try to stop his tears.  
  
He was a big boy, he had to be. He was the hero wasn't he? Just like Joe in his movie. He had to be smart and save them both. His thoughts drifted to his parents and he shook his head quickly, enough that it made him dizzy and he had to grab at the steps under him to keep from losing his balance. His parents had to be okay. They were his parents after all. After a few more attempts at trying to push the hatch open he realized there was no way his tiny body could lift whatever had fallen on top of the door. Jesse slumped on the stairs and coughed as dust rose around him in a little cloud. He didn't know what to do. He was getting really thirsty now too. The dust made his throat itch and become sore. His lungs hurt too.  
  
Both boys just laid on the floor, exhausted after a while. They drifted in and out of sleep, crying once in a while in the dark when there was nothing but silence outside. There was a crunching sound like boots on gravel and it got Jesse to lift his head, afraid but also hopeful that someone was there to rescue them. He pressed his ear to the trap door and listened. There were voices as well, muffled but definitely people.  
  
"Do you think we'll find any more civilians?" A soft voice asked the other set of footsteps.  
  
"Pretty unlikely at this point.." The voice that returned the question was hushed, but belonged to someone with a deep husky voice.  
  
Jesse opened his mouth to call out to the voices, but all that came out was a creaking noise and then a fit of coughing. The footsteps stopped and there was silence again for a moment, before Jesse felt dust rain down on him again, but there was also the sound of shifting rubble. The softer voice called down into the heap that was all that was left of the house.  
  
"Is there anyone down there?" It sounded concerned and Jesse let out a little weak cry followed by another cough then banged his small fist against the wood. Sobs eventually wracking his small body as he got too tired to hit against the ceiling.  
  
"Gabe, that sounded like a kid." The voice was much more worried now, and was quickly followed with the sounds of heavy breathing and rocks being tossed around.  
  
The noise grew closer and suddenly Jesse could make out faint light and a slight trickle of fresh air. He clawed at the door now, his frantic mind just wanting out of this nightmare. He didn't even notice as his fingers started to bleed and his nails broke. And then.. then the door opened above him and pale moonlight lit up his world.  
  
Two men, soldiers, were standing above him and one of them reached down to lift him out of the basement. All he could do was cling to the man, as the other one moved down into the hole in the ground to gather up Refugio. His body shook as he heaved out a sigh, passing out from exhaustion in the soldier's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry my beta is sleeping so you get this unbeta'd. Hope you enjoy it anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

When Jesse came to, he was in a military medical tent. He only knew because there were soldiers on some of the other beds inside the tent. His arm hurt and he glanced over to see an IV running into his arm. That was when someone noticed that he was awake.  
  
“Oh good, how are you feeling son?” A kind, but very tired, looking doctor gently patted his head.  
  
The memory of what had happened spilled back into his thoughts now that he was fully awake and he could feel the tears welling up and the tight grip of fear in his chest. “..w-where'r mah ma an’ pa?” His voice sounded so tiny even to him.  
  
The doctor’s expression changed slightly but he didn’t know what it meant, it wasn’t a look he’d ever really seen on a real person. But when the man shook his head slowly and patted his shoulder again he felt that grip on his heart grow tighter and make it hard to breathe. “Get some rest son.” The doctor turned away and went to check on other patients, leaving Jesse to lay in bed with no reassurance.  
  
Did he know or not? Jesse couldn’t even begin to guess, he may have been a smart child but he was still a child. His tiny fists balled up for a moment before that caused him pain and he relaxed them. Looking down at his hands he saw that they were bandaged up completely, little dots of blood on the white material. His gaze shifted quickly around the room, body starting to shake and the tears finally spilling over his cheeks. His parents had to be alright, didn’t they?  
  
He was alone, afraid, and he didn’t see Refugio anywhere. Shouldn’t he have been here too? The helplessness of his fear made him curl up on the bed, shivering under the blanket that was draped over him. Tiny quiet sobs shaking him even more as he tried not to bother the injured soldiers around him.  
  
Jesse didn’t know when he’d fallen asleep again, but he stirred briefly when he felt a very large warm calloused hand brush his sweaty hair back from his forehead. His eyes blinked open, his vision blurry with sleep. The soldier that had lifted him out of the dark was there, and he placed something on Jesse’s stomach, a soft pat to his hair and a kind voice speaking for just a short moment before he slipped back into sleep.  
  
“Cleaned up your hat kid. You’re safe now.”  
  
*  
  
They never were able to locate his parents. Which left Jesse at the mercy of foster care already too overloaded to take care of him. So he was eventually shunted into an orphanage in another state. Far away from Santa Fe he learned that practically the entire city had been leveled by omnics. He knew then that he’d never see his parents again. There were almost no survivors from the attack on the city.  
  
He tried to pretend like it didn’t make him wake up crying in the middle of the night for the next two years. It still did almost every night even once he’d turned ten. The orphanage wasn’t all that bad during all that time, but he didn’t like how strict the nuns were, or how he got in trouble if he wore his hat in the halls. It mostly stayed on his bed, waiting to be worn again. Honestly he was just glad they let him keep it. It was the only thing left of his past and it meant everything to him.  
  
He was also lucky, and grateful, that the nuns who ran the place believed in musical education. Jesse was given the chance to continue learning guitar on an old beat up thing that was hard to keep in tune, but he still took solace in being able to play, even if there were a lot of sour notes.  
  
At ten years old he wasn’t sure how he felt being made into a choir boy. He did in some part of his mind enjoy it, but at the same time it just made him even more homesick than he was already. It wasn't really his thing, but he got a lot of praise when he did well, so he didn't offer any complaints. Plus when they did really well the parishioners of the church they performed at gave them treats. He was okay with that.  
  
Time dragged on for what felt like ages, but really it had only been another two years. That was when he decided he’d run away back to New Mexico. The war was practically over by then and he felt like he had to go home. He missed the scrub lands and the hot winds that sent the tumbleweeds over the dry cracked earth. What really pushed him into the decision was the way that he kept getting approached by this one priest(that gave him the creeps) who was extremely persistent in trying to get him to let them transfer him over to a monastery that was close to what was left of Santa Fe. He thought this was it, his chance to go home.  Didn’t help that he was a kid still and prone to making stupid decisions.  
  
“Jesse, have you thought about our offer?” The priest had his hand resting on the boy’s narrow shoulder, lightly squeezing it. The touch bothered him but he suppressed the desire to pull away.  
  
“… yeah.. I'll go..” He kept his voice as calm as he could. He wasn’t comfortable around this man at all. Something about him made Jesse question his godliness, but it was his best chance to leave Colorado and go back home. It wasn't as if the man had ever done anything to him to give him reason to feel the way he did, so he couldn't really put his finger on what it was. He just knew in some way that he shouldn't trust him. The man smiled down at him and told him he’d fit right in with the monks there and they’d leave once he set it up with the nuns.  
  
Jesse was left to think about his decision while he went back to the dorm room he shared with five other boys. He didn’t have much to take with him after all. He wore the clothes the nuns provided just like everyone else. He didn’t think he’d need a change of clothes. All he needed was his hat. After he snatched it up and put it on his head. Still a little too big for him, but it was fitting better nowadays. There was nothing left to do but wait. Wait to be shuttled off in a van with the visiting priests and begin the long car trip back to New Mexico.  
  
Jesse's chance came when there was a late night stop for fuel. Most of the men in the van were dozing and he waited until the driver went into the gas station before he carefully slipped out of the vehicle and darted towards the back of the station where the bathrooms were. He’d let anyone that might notice him think he had to use the toilet, but once he reached the building he snuck around behind it and darted off into the dark. If he was lucky they wouldn’t notice he was missing until they got to their destination and then they’d have no idea when he’d escaped.  
  
It seemed that fate was on his side that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short one, the next will be longer.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start rolling.

Jesse only made it two days before his brief luck ran out.

He'd tried to steal a piece of fried chicken out of a greasy bag that was sitting unattended on the seat of a Harley. There hadn't been any sign of the owner after going inside an auto store. Unfortunately for him the owner of the bike and the chicken was not by himself. Before the boy could completely withdraw the piece of chicken from the bag he was roughly grabbed by the back of his shirt and pinned down to the ground. It had happened so fast that he didn't realize what had happened to wind him up in the dirt. A knee pressed painfully into his back and there was a mean hand in his hair, his head yanked back viciously to watch as the bike's owner came strolling out of the store.

"What we got here?" The biker was huge, at least in the mind of a twelve year old kid. The man was also greasy and dirty. Jesse couldn't even tell what color his hair was supposed to be with how much red desert dirt was caked into the greasy, sweaty, strands. His darkly tanned arms crossed over his chest, the hairy, meaty things covered in tattoos of snakes and naked women.

The other one, the one he couldn't see, was still pressing his knee into Jesse's spine and had let out a rough laugh right against the back of his head. "A baby bandito stealing yer chicken." He was rewarded with a painful jerk on his hair, his hat laying in the dirt next to his shoulder. He was just thankful that it was still tied on so it wasn't going anywhere. At least not if he could help it.

The biker squatted down in front of him, the dusty leather chaps creaking as he moved, a cruel smirk on his face. "Don't take kindly t' people stealin' from me." He grabbed hold of Jesse's hair while the pressure from the other man's knee eased up. At first he was grateful for the relief on his back, but that was quickly forgotten as he was dragged back up to his feet by the fist in his hair. "Think yer quicker than a wily coyote do ya?"

His body was tossed backward into the arms of the man that had pinned him to the ground. His arms twisted behind his back and a zip-tie around his wrists, tight enough that the plastic dug into his skin painfully. "Takin' this one home then?" It was the man behind him, he still hadn't seen what he looked like, but he had a weaselly voice that made his skin crawl.

"Mag's been demandin' sum help 'round the stove. Maybe the kid can repay his debt." Both of them laughed and he was marched away from the biker, to a really decrepit looking RV and thrown inside the back door onto a particularly grimy floor.

There were cigarette butts all over the stained linoleum, the greasy stink of the floor pressed against his cheek likely had smeared dark onto his cheek. He could feel the stickiness of it. Jesse shifted so he could look up at the rest of the inside of the RV. It was filthy. Seats that were stained with was either oil or blood, he couldn't really tell. The man that had thrown him in climbed into the driver's seat, slamming the door shut as he revved up the engine. He could hear the grumbling roar of the Harley pull away from the parking lot, the RV lurching roughly after it.

With a huff, Jesse tried to squirm his way upright, but when he was even close to doing so, the RV took a sharp hard corner which sent him right back onto the floor, his face smacking into the corner of a cabinet. He grunted in pain and could feel warmth spill down over his lips, the taste of copper seeping down his throat. The smell of his blood mixing with the grease smeared on the floor was nauseating and he had to swallow hard to prevent himself from gagging. He gave a half-hearted attempt to free his hands while his bloody nose left a small pool of blood on the floor against his cheek. He gave up when he only succeeded in having the zip-tie dig harshly into his wrists to where he thought they might also be bleeding. A deep sigh left his lungs and he resigned himself to just laying there on the floor trying not to smash his face into anything else whenever the driver took more turns that had him rolling across the floor into the sides of the walkway.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been laying on the floor, he may have passed out at some point, just knew he felt really groggy and sore. But at some point the RV had stopped moving and the driver was whistling some tune that Jesse didn't recognize. He heard the passenger side door open and someone climb into the front. The door slammed and the RV bolted forward again, sliding Jesse down the walkway up to the front. His head laying right between the front seats. There was a woman in the passenger seat, her almost black hair short and curly, face all sharp edges and when she glanced down, her eyes were dark and hard, but they softened slightly as she looked at him.

"This the new kid Bert mentioned?" Her voice was smooth as she took a mint from her pocket and popped it into her mouth. Her lips curling into a smirk as her eyes shifted to the driver.

"Yep, baby bandito tried stealin' from 'im." Turning his head towards the man speaking, he finally got a good look at the man. Lanky and just as weaselly looking as his voice. His pale skin sunburnt probably a hundred times over and leathery from the overexposure. Scraggly blond hair pulled into a tight ponytail at the back of his head. "Gonna give 'im to Mags."

The woman laughed and turned her gaze back down to Jesse. There was something kind in her look but also fierce. "Welcome to the Deadlocks lil' bandito." Another laugh was passed between the two adults and she reached down to ruffle Jesse's thick brown hair.

The Deadlocks. He knew that name. They were a gang that had been terrorizing Santa Fe and its surrounding areas since he was a toddler. He had never imagined himself joining a gang, but as things were looking for him, it might be just what he needed to survive. His eyes locked onto the woman's and he felt words coming out of his mouth before he realized he was speaking.

"Do you really ride horses?" He'd heard stories about the deadlocks being almost like modern day cowboys. It had always interested him, though he'd never thought about joining them because they were bandits, criminals. She laughed at the question, but it wasn't a mean sounding laugh.

"Fuck yeah we do kid. You know how to ride?" Mister weasel snorted at the conversation but didn't add anything. Jesse shook his head in response. "Well guess that'll be one of the first things yer gonna learn. You gotta know how if you're gonna ride with us." She looked at him thoughtfully. "What's yer name bandito?"

"J-Jesse.." He felt a little awestruck at the idea of them teaching him how to ride. It gave him hope.

"Cute name. Sounds like one of them old cowboys." Her gaze glanced to his arms and clicked her tongue in thought. "You'll get those off once yer swore in, Jess." She took out a cigarette, placed it between her lips and lit it before speaking again. "Name's Roxy. Nice t'meet'cha." Roxy inhaled deep and slowly let out a cloud of smoke.

"That's Pete by the way." She gestured towards the driver. "He's an asshole, so try t'avoid him if you can." Pete gave a huff in response while she reached down to grab the back of Jesse's shirt and pull him up into a sitting position on the floor between their seats. "We'll be back at base soon, you'll get the tour an' get swore in."

Roxy blew a smoke ring into the air before reaching over and flicking the ashes of her cigarette onto Pete's lap, who just grumbled, hastily brushing them off his jeans, too occupied with driving to complain. Jesse wondered what getting swore in entailed, a bit of trepidation curling in his stomach, but he ignored it as best he could because he was going to be a cowboy like the ones from his old vids. It was pretty much a dream come true. He was ultimately glad he'd run away.


	5. Chapter 5

Roxy had chatted with Jesse for the rest of the drive. It set him more at ease having someone in the situation actually being nice to him. He felt like he wasn't in danger with her there. Still.. Pete didn't stop giving him the heebie geebies. When they pulled into the dusty parking lot of a diner, Roxy kicked open the door and hopped out with a gesture for Jesse to follow her. He squirmed over the passenger seat and she helped him to the ground.

"This way, Jess." Roxy's hand rested on top of his head as she steered him into the diner and through the door that led to back, past the kitchen and down a flight of stairs into a basement. Jesse was surprised at the long hallways that were underground. It was a secret base alright.

It wasn't that much of a walk until they arrived in what looked like an office, although it was grungy and there were a number of guns on the desk in the middle of the room. The walls were lined with weapon cabinets, and there was a man behind the desk, his feet kicked up to rest his filthy boots on the edge of the desk. His hands busy cleaning the pieces of a dismantled weapon.

When he looked up, his cold green eyes narrowed for a moment. His gaze looking Jesse up and down in a way that made the boy break out in a cold sweat. It was the same way he'd seen an alley cat size up a mouse. He felt very much like that mouse at that moment. The man set down the gun pieces on the desk and leaned over it just a bit, his eyes only very briefly flicking up to Roxy.

"What's this? New meat?" His voice was slippery as ice and just as cold. All Jesse could image was that this man would probably sooner cannibalize his gang than go hungry for even a couple days.

"Yep, Pete caught the little bandito trying to steal food from Bert." She shrugged a little and ruffled the boy's hair. "We all figured he'd make a good little cowboy. Get him on a horse and stick a gun in his hand and I think the rangers will have second thoughts about shooting at us." 

He seemed to consider it for a moment before he nodded, getting up from his chair and rummaging around in one of the cabinets. Then he walked around the desk to stand right in front of Jesse, towering over him. He was so terrified of the man that he didn't realize that Roxy had freed his hands. The gaze that was burning down at him, made him feel like he was in the worst trouble in his life. But there was an old rusty looking revolver held out to him. His eyes flicked over it then up to the man's face.

"Take it kid. When you get it working again you can start running raids with the others." Jesse hesitantly reached out before snatching the weapon from his hand and eyeing him with suspicion. The man let out a chuckle and turned around, going back to his desk and resuming his work cleaning the gun he'd set aside when he'd been interrupted. "He can learn to ride and help Mags, until he learns how to take care of his gun." The words seemed final and Roxy nodded quickly, turning Jesse around and ushering him back out of the office.

Neither of them said anything as they walked back towards the staircase that would take them back to the diner. Once they were back upstairs Jesse was shown around the kitchen and introduced to Mags. She was the boss' wife and the main cook. She had every intention on working him to the bone in that diner. Roxy came to his rescue, at least partly.

"Well, we gotta get him ridin' and shit Mags. You can have him after that." The older woman looked like she'd complain but just sighed in resignation. Roxy pulled him along after her, giving him the tour.

"Okay so that there is the shop, Frank can show you the basics about yer gun. Its a pretty old one looks like, so might take a bit of work." She didn't seem the least bit phased by the fact that her boss had handed a twelve year old a revolver, albeit one that didn't work, but still. "We got the horses over here." She led him into a stable that was basically a cave in the side of the cliffs. There were a lot of horses and giant bales of hay. "Since you're new yer gonna be in charge of mucking out the stalls." That didn't sound fun to Jesse.

"You can eat fer free in the diner, but there's a strict two meal a day rule. As for where you can sleep.." She scratched at her cheek while looking at one of the horses. "Pretty much anywhere that you can lay down is up fer grabs. Though if someone else wants that spot yer gonna have to move." Roxy scooped up an armful of hay and took it to the back of the stable where there was an empty stall. She dumped the stuff in the corner of the stall. "This is as good a spot as any Jess. It'll be warmer at night too, so this is yer room pretty much." She gave a bit of a shrug before someone called out to her and she had to hurry away, leaving him alone.

Sleeping in a stable was not what he'd been anticipating, but it was better than getting the shit kicked out of him like he'd thought would happen when he was first tossed into the RV. He flopped down into the hay, seeing how comfortable it would be. Wasn't that bad, and it smelled nice. Better than the horse shit that was in the stable. Thinking about the horses he got up and walked around the stable looking at the horses and patting their faces gently. One of them snuffled at his hair and he smiled. His hands lightly scratching the mare's cheeks. He knew quite a bit about horses since he never grew out of his love of cowboys. Even though he'd never ridden one, he read a lot about it.

The mare he was looking at was an appaloosa and he patted it lightly before wandering along again, stopping when he came upon an american paint that looked extremely disgruntled. He should have been scared to get in the stall with it, the horse could easily hurt him if it so wanted to, but Jesse was still a dumb kid after all and he went inside to see if he could figure out why the horse looked so distressed. There was nothing particularly obvious other than that the horse was extremely dirty, as though it hadn't been brushed in days. Then he noticed that it seemed to be favoring one of its back legs.

"Yer hurt?" His head cocked to the side in a questioning gesture and the horse snorted. Jesse slowly held his hand out which seemed to agitate it until it sniffed at his hand and sighed. He very slowly ran his hand over the gelding's cheek and down its neck, patting the horse's shoulder gently. His hand moved down the horse's flank and as he approached the back leg, the gelding lifted its foot and Jesse could see that there was a chunk of broken glass wedged into the bottom of the horse's hoof. He knew that rocks and dirt got stuck there and that they had to have their hooves cleaned often, but a hunk of glass?

Jesse glanced around the stall looking for something he could get the glass out with. There wasn't much in there besides a brush and a leather strap from a saddle. He let out a soft thoughtful hum before grabbing the strap and carefully running his hand down the gelding's leg, letting it know what he was doing. He didn't want to get kicked in the head after all. He took hold of the hoof and used the buckle on the strap to pry the glass out. He was rewarded with a startled sound from the horse and it looking back at him and then stomping its feet for a moment. It relaxed quickly without the pain from the glass jabbing up under its foot. Without another thought, Jesse grabbed the brush and started to clean the gelding's coat.

He was so absorbed in the task that he jumped with a little cry when a deep voice spoke behind him. "You raised on a ranch kid?" Jesse whirled around to look up at the man that was leaning on the door of the stall. He was tall and very greasy looking, but there was a sort of pleasant smile on his face. Didn't seem all that bad. Jesse shook his head in response to the question once he realized that's what had been said. "Surprisin' since that one don't like people much. S'why nobody 'ad gotten that glass out. Betting he'd let ya ride 'em." The man laughed and the horse gave him a dirty glare and stomped a hoof impatiently at Jesse to finish brushing him.

"Oh.. no.. ah'd love t'but ah dun know how." He rubbed a soothing hand on the creature's neck and got back to brushing its coat. He felt his face heat up in embarrassment, the man laughing seeing the look on his face.

"Ey, gotta start sumwhere yea?" He gestured for Jesse to come out of the stall. "Name's Frank, what's yers?" Jesse got out of the stall before he answered.

"Jesse." He chewed on his lip slowly, wondering what the man wanted from him.

"No need to shit yer britches kid, I ain't gonna shoot ya." The man laughed and his dark eyes seemed to twinkle a bit, at least Jesse thought they did. "Nah, came to see yer gun. " Jesse handed it over without comment and the man hummed as he looked the piece over. "Looks like shit, but I'll show ya how to take care of it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Horses. Yep.


	6. Chapter 6

The first few days in the deadlock gang were a bit rough for Jesse, he didn't have much time to do anything other than be set to cleaning. First the stalls, then the diner, then he had to feed the horses. That was all before lunch, and when he flopped into the booth inside the diner with sweat running down his face and his shirt soaked, Mags came over and set a cup of coffee in front of him. She didn't wait to hear what he might want to eat, and he figured that maybe he didn't get a choice.

He poked at the coffee cup with an unsure expression. He'd never had coffee, and this coffee didn't smell exactly pleasant. He tried a sip and almost gagged, it tasted like boiled dirt and he grimaced before taking another drink of it. His face scrunched up in disgust, yet he kept drinking it anyway because he was thirsty and even though it tasted terrible, it soothed the dry stickiness of his throat. He was surprised out of his disgusting drink when a grilled cheese sandwich with some fries were placed in front of him. His eyes darting up to Mags who just gave him a sympathetic look and walked back to the kitchen.

He was glad that at least the sandwich tasted decent even if it and the fries were a bit too greasy. He ate the food down almost choking on it in his haste. He hadn't had a decent meal since he left the nuns. Once he'd finished he had a chance to go relax in the stables. Laying in his bed of hay and dozing off in the midday heat.

A loud noise startled Jesse out of his nap and he looked around frantically in the dark. It was dark. Had he really slept all afternoon? It seemed like he had. He sighed and got to his feet, his body aching from all the physical labor he'd done that morning. He was cautious as he slunk slowly through the stable looking for where the noise had come from. His eyes widened when he saw a barrel with a blazing fire in it, most of deadlock sitting around it and chatting, laughing, enjoying the company of their fellows. What really struck him was the guy that was plucking at an old looking guitar, obviously clueless on how to play it.

He watched silently from the edge of the stables before slowly approaching only to have someone call out to him, startling him into freezing in place like a deer in headlights. "Jess! Over here!" It was Roxy, calling to him from nearby the man with the guitar who it seemed she was actually joking with. How had he not noticed her there? He almost shook his head before he jerked forward, trotting over to her and sitting down near her. The warmth from the barrel reached him from there and he sighed into the warmth it radiated.

"Jess, look at this asshole." She gestured to the man with the guitar. "He can't even play the damn thing, and he's just sitting here making us suffer." Jesse wasn't sure what he was supposed to say to that, he was new here, he didn't really know anyone, too new, too nervous. He let out a breath and held his hand out towards the man, as if he might actually hand the old thing over. Roxy raised an eyebrow and nudged the man to look at Jesse.

"Oh hey kid, you wanna try?" He didn't seem to mind one bit as he handed the thing over to the rather small looking twelve year old.

Jesse took the guitar almost reverently. His father had instilled respect for his instruments from before he could remember. The nuns had always been surprised at how careful he was when he practiced considering he was clumsy and careless doing practically anything else. The guy's eyebrow arched questioningly at how gentle Jesse was with it as he positioned it in his lap.

It was almost like reuniting with a friend, having the guitar in his lap. He tilted his head slightly as he tuned it and hummed softly to himself until he strummed a few bars. A small relaxed smile crossed his lips as he started to play the theme to one of his favorite vids. He was so wrapped up in what he was doing that he didn't notice how quiet it had gotten around him as all the deadlock members around the fire had turned to look at him. He looked up almost startled when he heard a couple people start to whistle and hum along with his playing. Everyone was smiling at him though and he felt a warm happy feeling bubble up inside him and he smiled, playing a little more confidently.

When he finished they were all whooping and hollering and asking what else he could play. He grinned and straightened his hat on his head. Playing whatever songs he knew as the adults around him seemed more happy, singing along or clapping to the beat of the song. He hadn't realized that this could be like this. Like he was at camp or one of the family parties that Refugio had invited him to. It made him feel a lot more at home and some of the unsettled feelings in his guts eased. Even the boss was almost smiling next to his wife Mags.

When he was too tired to keep playing he tried to hand the guitar back to the man that had had it to begin with. He was given a firm shake of his head and told to keep it. "Kid you earned it." Those words of praise made him light up and he clutched the instrument to his chest as he got up on wobbly legs, from sitting too long on the cold ground. Roxy walked him back to the stables after grabbing a blanket from someone. The guitar was carefully hung in the stall and when Jesse flopped down into the hay, Roxy draped the blanket over him and ruffled his hair gently.

"You'll fit right in here Jess."

*

Jesse spent the next few weeks doing chores, learning to ride, and carefully getting the rusty revolver bright and shiny like it was almost brand new. He was learning a lot from the older members and they seemed surprised with his eagerness and rapt attention. He was thirsty for this sort of knowledge, the kind that made him feel like he could actually live out his dream of being a real cowboy. They were even teaching him to shoot his gun. He took to it quick, as if it was natural for him to have a gun in his hand.

One afternoon as Jesse was practicing his aim, shooting cans, he was startled by a hand suddenly rest on his shoulder and he spun, the gun held up in defense. He lowed it immediately and put it back in his holster when he saw that the boss, Jackson, was the one standing there. He mumbled an apology and tried to sink into his clothes.

"You're a good shot." The man was looking him up and down in thought. "Think its time to make you an official member." He gave Jesse one long last look. "Be ready after sunset." He then turned on his heel and walked away, his hands in the back pockets of his jeans.

Jesse started to shake a little, not sure if he was happy or scared. Probably a bit of both. He was too nervous to continue his shooting practice so he went back to the stables and cleaned his gun before checking on the horses and saddling up the paint. He was the only one that the gelding let ride him. The other deadlock had given up and told him it was pretty much his horse now anyway. Roxy had told him to name the paint whatever he liked and it had only taken him a few seconds before he had one.

He led the horse out of the stable and scrambled up into the saddle. He hoped his growth spurt would happen soon because he needed a bit more height to get into the saddle more easily. He patted the gelding's neck and clicked his tongue. "Okay, Tuco lets go." The paint began an easy trot and Jesse had the horse circle the place, his eyes scanning the desert as he joined the afternoon lookouts. A few waved lazily at him as he passed by their stationed spots.

After making a few rounds and looking around a bit to see if he could spot any jackrabbits, he didn't, he headed back to the stables and brushed Tuco down, refilling his food and water tray before heading inside the building behind the diner where the showers were. Jesse glanced around to make sure they were empty before he went inside. He was still uncomfortable with the shared showers. Everyone was older than him after all. The youngest after him was sixteen and it made him too uneasy to shower in the same room as adults. He was a scrawny little kid after all.

Jesse made the shower as short as he possibly could while at least getting his hair clean. He wondered when he'd start getting more hair on his body though, there were a few little ones scattered around, but even though he'd quietly turned thirteen a few days ago, he hadn't quite hit the full brunt of puberty yet. He sighed as he got dressed. He wanted to grow up already, then he could be a real cowboy.

The sun was setting when he left the showers, a few people heading in to get cleaned up after a long day. He kept his eyes down as he passed them. As he walked around the side of the diner he almost walked right into Jackson and he froze up. The man had a smirk on his lips which made Jesse's skin break out in a cold sweat. He didn't know what it was about the boss that absolutely terrified him, but whatever it was he could tell he wasn't the only one scared of the man.

"Ah, kid, good timing. Come along." The man's green eyes seemed to bore into him before he turned to lead the way. Jesse hurried after him, having to almost jog to keep up with the man's long stride. He looked a little confused as they just ended up by the barrel where someone was already stoking the fire to get it going for the night.

There were already a lot of people gathered up there and they looked at him with interest. Did they already know what was going on? He wasn't sure but one or two patted his shoulder as he walked past them. Jackson gestured for him to sit on the ground near the barrel as he glanced around at the group that had settled down around the fire. Jesse didn't like the way Pete was looking at him from the other side of the fire as he poked at it with a fire poker. He just turned his face away from him to look at his lap instead.

"Its time to add the kid to our ranks and make a man out of him." The boss' voice was loud and carried far in the night air as the last purple colors of sunset started to fade on the horizon. There were a couple chuckles in the group but also a few little claps of approval. He then turned to Jesse and made a motion with his hand. "Take off your shirt kid." That had him blinking in confusion for a moment before he obeyed and crumpled it in his lap.

The confusion that had started to gather in his head quickly dissipated when he saw Jackson take the red hot poker from Pete. That was when he realized it had something on the end of it and it wasn't a poker, it was a brand. His body started to shake a little as Jackson walked back around the fire and moved to stand behind him. He knew it was going to hurt. How could it not? So he squeezed his eyes shut as tight as he could and tried to brace himself for the pain that was sure to come.

Come it did. The hot end of the iron brand was suddenly pressed into his skin a couple inches below the base of his neck along his spine. He couldn't stop the scream that tore from his throat and he shoved his shirt into his mouth to muffle the pained noises as tears rolled down his face. He wasn't even sure when the brand had been taken away from his skin, but all he knew was that the searing pain was not going away.

"Welcome to the Deadlocks, Jesse." 

He was officially a member as of that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> owwwww?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for non-con/underage stuff in this chapter. I left the description kinda vague but its there.  
> Also warning for a bit of gore. Its not a lot but just so you know.

After becoming an official member of the Deadlocks, he was allowed to go on a short run and learn the ropes of being a gang member. Mostly, though at his age they just raided the construction sites in Sante Fe where things were being rebuilt. During one of the run he tried to find his old home, but he couldn't remember just where it had been in the mess of the city and the reconstruction. He had felt a moment of sadness, but the gang had distracted him from those thoughts rather quickly and he moved on from it. It wasn't his home anymore, the Deadlocks were.  
  
It wasn't until he was fourteen that he was given the job of running weapons down across the border to trade with the cartels. One of the reasons he was chosen for the job was the fact that he was very fluent in spanish and it made things easier. He'd trade the crate of weapons for one with drugs. Some part of his mind knew what he was doing was wrong, but he kept that part of himself, the moral part, far away in the back of his mind. He was too eager to please his gang and would soak up the praise he'd get from a good run. He didn't even bother to justify his actions or rationalize them, just did as he was told.  
  
Jesse was good at slipping across the border with the contraband. But then it was pretty easy when at some point a two mile tunnel had been dug going under it. It was disguised as an old mine and no one really paid it much mind. This latest run he was making was easily the twentieth or so he'd done over the last couple months. He was almost fifteen now and his gangling body swayed in Tuco's saddle. He'd become all limbs that were too long almost over-night. The change was something he was still getting used to, but his voice was deepening and he felt like he was finally growing up. Even had a little bit more body hair peppering his skin.  
  
He'd have been feeling right peachy if not for the fact that he had to deal with Pete on this run. Jesse had never liked the guy and as time went on he just grew to despise him more and more. The man had always creeped him out and that feeling only intensified the older he got. Especially when he'd catch the man staring at him at odd moments. He caught him once watching him in the shower and it had made the boy break out in a cold sweat and very quickly change his mind about washing his hair, just so he could hurry out of there and go for a LONG ride.  
  
He didn't realize what had bothered him so much at first, but he got the idea pretty quick after he asked one of the other younger members of the gang about what Pete's deal was. The older teen had just mumbled something quietly into his ear and the disgust on Jesse's face could not be understated. He really wished that Jackson would get rid of Pete, but there wasn't anything Jesse could say to the boss about it. He had to know about the guy didn't he? Or was there some other reason? He had no idea, just knew that being alone with Pete was something he'd avoided as much as possible. But now? Now he was stuck on a damn long ride across scrub land, alone with Pete.  
  
At least as long as he was in Tuco's saddle he felt safe enough. The horse didn't seem fond of the man either and would try to bite or kick him if he got too close. Which tended to get the old creeper complaining about how they should have just sold the paint to a glue factory a long time ago. It would earn him a scathing glare from Jesse, but Pete never seemed intimidated by the look. Jesse just didn't have the kind of face that would scare anyone. He ended up being called kid and baby face constantly. It bothered him, but not enough to complain about it.  
  
There was a noisy clearing of a throat behind him and it jolted him out of his thoughts, glancing back at Pete. The bastard was lounging like he was on vacation on the hovering pallet that was tied to Tuco's saddle. Jesse narrowed his eyes for a moment before turning his head to face forward again. Not at all interested in anything Pete might have to say, unfortunately he wasn't going to be lucky with any return to silence.  
  
"Boy, hey don't look the other way when I'm trying to talk to you." The man sounded amused and Jesse rolled his eyes before glancing back at the man again.  
  
"What?" the teen's tone was as flat as he could make it, trying to hide the obvious irritation at having to even talk to the guy.  
  
"Don't get snarky with me, I can get ya punished for disrespect." Pete still sounded like he was enjoying taunting Jesse. "Besides, there was a change'o'plans. New drop point."  
  
That had Jesse turning in his seat and looking back at the man with concern and confusion. He hadn't been told of anything like that and it made him extremely wary. It wasn't like he could argue with him though. Dude was higher rank than him in the gang and he didn't get a say in that kind of stuff. So instead of saying anything he just let out a huff of a breath and turned to look forward again. If they had to change course he figured Pete would say something more, and he wasn't disappointed.  
  
"Bout another mile'r'so and there's a old farmstead. Drop gonna be there this time." There was something to his tone of voice that got under Jesse's skin but he wasn't sure what it was, even though it had his nose crinkling as though he'd just gotten a whiff of week old roadkill. "Yah hear me boy?"  
  
"Yeh I 'ear ya, Pete." The name came out of his mouth like acid and he reached up to run a hand down his face, wishing more than anything that he was back at the hideout listening to scratchy songs on the jukebox and drinking some of that terrible dirt coffee. Anything was better than having to deal with Pete.  
  
The rest of the ride carried on in silence, of which Jesse was eternally grateful. If he had to try to hold a conversation with Pete he might have resorted to shooting the man in the face with his Ruger. He was almost glad that it wasn't long before the farmstead came into view and he'd have the chance to isolate himself for a while. The place was abandoned and dilapidated, but the barn was still in decent shape, which was good enough.  
  
He dragged the pallet into the barn and detached it from his saddle and dismounted so he could lead Tuco into one of the stalls. Which he was glad were clean enough. He knew the pickup wasn't until tomorrow so he just worked on taking off the saddle and saddle bags, feeding the paint once he could get the grain bag out. Once Tuco was settled into the stall, he leaned against the wood, his gangly arms draped over the side of the stall and his stetson pulled down low over his eyes. He let out a heavy breath and cracked open his water bottle. It was warm from the long ride under the sun, but he didn't care since it still quenched his thirst well enough.  
  
With a sigh he started to wander around the barn, looking for anything worthwhile in the place. It couldn't hurt to pilfer something from it if he found anything decent. He pointedly ignored the grumbling that Pete was doing from his perch on the pallet and its crates. Instead he climbed up into the hay loft on a rickety old ladder that he was glad didn't just disintegrate under his touch. He didn't expect to find much of anything up there, but was pleasantly surprised to find that apparently someone had considered the place worth stopping at. What with the very dusty looking mattress resting towards one side. Jesse walked right over to the thing and let himself flop down on it in relief, the dust flying up into the air around him in a grayish cloud. He didn't even care that it was filthy, it was soft enough and he could get some decent shuteye on the old thing.  
  
Jesse wasn't sure when he'd dozed off but something pulled him out of sleep, his mind groggy and his eyes slowly blinking at the almost complete darkness they were greeted with. It had to be the middle of the night and he couldn't even remember falling asleep. He moved to sit up then was incredibly confused, his brain still sleep addled, as he realized he couldn't get up. It took him a moment longer to realize that something, rather _someone_ , was pinning him down to the mattress. The fear that rushed through him had him feeling both hot and like his blood had turned to ice.  
  
His gun. He needed his gun. Though he very quickly realized that even if he could move his arms he wouldn't be able to reach his Ruger Vaquero revolver because his belt wasn't even on him. Where had it gone? Did this quiet assailant remove it because they weren't interested in getting shot when Jesse woke up? He didn't dwell on that thought as he suddenly felt an exhale of breath against his face. The smell of it was rancid and he tried to pull away, only able to turn his head to the side in an attempt to escape it. What really made him freeze up in terror was when a calloused hand slid up under his shirt and an utter feeling of disgust gripped his insides and twisted him up. The worst part though was when the person holding him down spoke.  
  
"Heh.. ya better be a good lil boy now for good ol'Pete." Jesse wanted to recoil from the touch as though it was clawing open his skin and to get as far away from the disgusting man as was possible. He tried, but he was unable to move and all he could think about was how he should have begged to have someone else on this run with him instead.  
  
Pete grabbed his shoulder roughly and flipped Jesse over, pulling both of his arms up behind the boy's back to where it was painful. Jesse made a little strangled sound as he felt like his shoulders were going to pop out of their sockets. He really started to freak out when his arms were tied together with a belt. He tried to kick at Pete, but the man pinned his legs down with heavy knees pressing into the backs of Jesse's. Jesse let out a stream of curses as those hands grabbed his hips and jerked them back so he was on his knees, face pressed into the mattress.  
  
"Fuck, get off'a me, ya nasty bastard!" All that earned him was a punch to the back of the head and he momentarily felt the world tip sharply, his vision flashing white for a second.  
  
"Shut up boy, I been waitin' a while for this, ain't gonna let ya ruin it by having to listen to your smart mouth." Pete leaned over him, his horrid breath against Jesse's ear. "You'd best be a good boy and keep yer trap shut 'bout this or yer shitty horse is taking a new job as glue."  
  
That sealed Jesse's lips. He wouldn't risk Tuco's life for this. That horse was practically his best friend, so he just squeezed his eyes tightly shut and tried not to cry out. He hid away in the back of his mind as the pain he was forced to endure made tears roll from his eyes and the mattress under his cheek was heavily dampened.  When it was over, Pete left him alone to wander over to the broken house to sleep there instead of in the barn. Jesse was grateful for at least that little mercy. If he thought he could get away with killing Pete he would have no qualms about doing it.  
  
*  
  
Jesse secluded himself for a while after returning to the hideout. He stayed pretty much out of the way of anyone until his birthday rolled around and his personality seemed to shift into a more overly friendly and self-deprecating one. He'd make a joke of himself to get other members to laugh and after awhile no one seemed to remember how he'd acted before. Even Roxy didn't ask anymore if something was wrong. Every so often, Jesse would hide himself away, avoiding everyone for a day or two before going right back to that optimistic jovial attitude that was "his" now.  
  
*  
  
Then there was this girl. She was new, sixteen like him. She had dark curls, a sweet voice, skin almost as dark as the diner's coffee, and the deepest eyes he'd ever seen. He couldn't help himself from sidling up next to her and flirting with all the charm he could muster.  
  
"Hey there lil'lady, name's Jesse McCree, dun 'spose I could get yers?" His hat tipped down to her in greeting and a cocky grin playing on his lips. It rewarded him with a soft laugh and her full attention.  
  
"I didn't know real cowboy's still existed. I'm Rosilyn." There was a smile tugging her lips up as she took in his appearance.  
  
"We are a'dyin' breed. Dun 'spose yer likin' t'change that?" He gave her the most flirtatious wink he could and and she tapped her finger tip on her chin.  
  
"I might possibly be somewhat interested." There was a sly smile lifting the corners of her mouth.  
  
It didn't take long for Jesse to endear himself to her. The teen romance that developed between the two of them was fast and intense. Riding horses together, Jesse singing her love songs while playing his guitar, even competitions on who was the better shot. Jesse only barely won slightly more than half the time. It didn't help that he always got distracted looking at her ass while he was trying to aim. It seemed as though their relationship would only get deeper, practically attached at the hip. However, it was ruined for Jesse. By none other than Pete.  
  
He hadn't finished with Jesse, didn't intend to let the boy go for as long as he could force him to keep his silence. Rosilyn caught them in the act and she was heartbroken and angry. She thought he was cheating on her, and when she demanded if it was true to his face.  
  
"Jesse! How.. how could you do this..? And with HIM!" Her hand shook as her finger jabbed in the air accusingly at Pete.   
  
"Go on boy, tell her you prefer cock." Pete gave Rosilyn a lustful look and she shivered, wrapping her arms around herself in disgust. Her eyes coals of anger as she glared at the two, waiting for Jesse to respond.  
  
No response was forthcoming and Jesse turned his head away to stare at the floor. He wanted to tell her the truth, but he couldn't. He was too twisted up inside, his fear of what Pete would do if he said anything to anyone. So he let her eyes burn holes into while he refused to meet her gaze. He could hear her start to cry before she stormed away. His chest tight and hurting as he was manhandled back onto the bed. His eyes closed and his thoughts far away.  
  
She was gone the next day. No one knew where she went except for Jackson, and he refused to tell Jesse when he asked. Word got around though, and the more seedy of the members decided to start paying him visits too. Roxy didn't look at him the same way anymore either. That was probably the hardest part for him, the most disheartening. It only got worse though. One night after shoving one of his "callers" away, the man in his anger shot Tuco in the face. Jesse was forced to finish him off out of compassion for the paint's suffering. There was nothing else he could do. It made him cry though, and he was so upset and furious with himself and the one that had done it.  
  
Jesse had had enough. He chased him down, before he'd even had a chance to mourn Tuco. He tackled the man to the ground, pinning him there and shoving the barrel of his Ruger into the man's mouth. "Fuck you." He pulled the trigger. Blood, brain matter, and bone spattered over Jesse's face and arms, covering his torso and legs. The shock of the warm fluids and tissue left him gasping, face blank as other members came out to see what had happened. There were whispers around him, but the only thing he focused on was the one face that peered through that made his anger seethe.  
  
Without even a thought, he lifted his gun and shot Pete between the eyes through the gap in the crowd. He'd never have to suffer because of that man again. Not if he was dead. He suddenly felt very dizzy and sick to his stomach and he threw up into the bloody mess below him.   
  
He was later interrogated by Jackson. Jesse was too ashamed to admit to why he'd done it.. at least what exactly had caused him to snap. The gang leader was able to guess without much trouble what the reason had been and Jesse got off with just being forced to do most of the chores around the hideout until his seventeenth birthday. It was a light punishment for murder. After that things seemed to calm down and run pretty smoothly again. Jesse was left alone after that whole ordeal though. No one wanted to join the two under the kid's belt.  
  
At least things were calm until they'd raided a train and lucked upon a huge cache of military grade weaponry. All of it was dragged back to the hideout and the whole place was buzzing with excitement over the deals they'd be able to make with weapons this good.  
  
Jesse thought maybe they'd finally get a really good payoff and he could get some nice things for himself. Like a new guitar. Or maybe he'd get a dog and train it. There were a lot of thoughts about the whole thing going through his mind. What _actually_ happened was something completely different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY, in the next chapter we get to meet Gabriel.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its the end and the beginning of Jesse's life.

Laughter and cheers reached Jesse from his tiny room in the stables. After all this time he'd never bothered to move into the underground rooms. He didn't want to give up the comfort of being near the horses, plus no one really wanted to room near him anyway. He was okay with that though, he didn't blame them. It was his own fault.  
  
He was busy cleaning his Ruger anyway. The warm sound of people was soothing from a distance. The flickering light of the giant bonfire outside that everyone was crowded around, licked at the edges of the cave entrance. He knew the celebration would last most of the night. What with that giant haul of weapons that would earn them an extravagant amount from the cartels. He was content to stay out of the rejoicing. Something about it made him uneasy. No, he knew what it was, but he hated to admit it to himself.  
  
Jesse knew that those weapons would cause the deaths of so many people. Much more than the other weapons he'd spent years helping trade to the cartels. The older he got the more it dragged against his thin moral fabric. The two men he'd murdered in cold blood were honestly nothing to the countless murders he was complacent in because of his hand in the dealings that Deadlock had preformed for years. But he was used to shoving those feelings deep down to where he could pretend they didn't exist. He'd gotten exceptionally good at that after.. He shoved that thought away with a scowl.  
  
His gun was clean, he was polishing pointlessly now and he sighed, returning it to his holster at his hip. He'd heard that there was going to be cake. The thought of actual cake made his mouth water a little and he sat there debating on if he felt up to joining the rest of the gang, just to have a slice. It was enough to get him to stand up and adjust his hat so he'd be able to go get that delicious piece of cake.  
  
Jesse froze in place at the doorway to his room, the entire stable lighting up briefly as if the rock above him had been shorn away under a mid-summer blazing sun. It stunned and blinded him enough to take a step back and rub at his eyes. He had them squeezed shut as he heard the first gunshots and the screams. The sounds of footsteps echoed into the cave and Jesse listened as his brown eyes readjusted to the darkness that had enveloped him as he'd quickly shut off his light.  
  
A raid. It had to be. That train heist must have pissed off the authorities enough to get the military involved. At least he assumed cause the sound of gunfire was definitely from semi-automatic rifles and the meager police force in the area didn't have those kinds of resources. He felt his hands shake as it dawned on him that this could be the end of the road for the Deadlocks. He had to take a few deep breaths to calm the shaking before he snuck through the stables, making his way close to the entrance so he could get an idea of what they were dealing with.  
  
He pressed his back up against the wall and glanced outside. There was an active firefight and he could make out the shapes of a few transport vehicles. "Fuck.." This was all or nothing. These were soldiers and they were as good as dead whether or not they lived through the fight or not. Jesse leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, steadying his breathing again. At least he had a slight temporary advantage since they'd be unlikely to suspect fire from the stables. He took one last deep breath before pushing his hat firmly down on his head and leaning around the wall so he could find targets.  
  
He figured the commanding officers would be towards the transport instead of the ones plunging headfirst into the midst of the deadlocks. The transports were a very healthy distance away and they probably expected that they couldn't be hit back there assuming the deadlocks didn't have a sniper. It was a fair assessment since they didn't. But they had him. Jesse was aware of his skill with a revolver and sometimes it went to his head, but right at the moment that didn't matter. What mattered was taking out as many of these bastards as he could manage before he got himself shot.  
  
Making out the profiles of a few different people near the transports he took aim and fired quickly. Expending all six of his bullets in rapid succession. He saw all but one of them topple to the ground. The last one had ducked back behind the transport. Did he miss? He could have sworn not but then, he could always make mistakes. He pressed back against the wall again and reloaded his Ruger. Unless they had a good spotter they might not have seen where the sudden bullets had come from. But just in case, Jesse waited. Keeping his breathing as even as he could while he counted by the seconds. Nothing. He peeked around the corner again, there were no visible troops by the transports now. They must have gotten the hint and took cover.  
  
Jesse's brain was working as quickly as he could trying to think of something he could do to put an end to the fight without them all being fucked. His eyes scanned the cliffs, and seeing nothing and no one watching his position, he slipped out from the cave. Crouched low to the ground he stuck close to the rocky outcroppings in an attempt to circle around the transports and possibly take out whoever was leading the attack on his family. As he crept closer he saw a man that made him stop in his tracks.  
  
Tall and muscular, his coat practically spotless even in the dust of the gorge. A strong righteous face, gleaming blond that practically shimmered in the moonlight. It took a few seconds before Jesse realized who the man was. He'd seen him before. That was Strike Commander Morrison of Overwatch. When that clicked in his mind he let out a noisy breath knowing they were seriously utterly fucked. As much as he wanted to protect the deadlocks there was no way he'd shoot that man. That would be.. wrong. Maybe he could just scare him? Aim for near his feet maybe...? Jesse lifted his gun, aiming at the man's ankles, thinking maybe if the man was slightly wounded they'd retreat.  
  
Jesse didn't get the chance to fire. The sudden weight and burn of hot metal pressed against the back of his head. His stetson knocked sideways off his head.  
  
"Shoot and you're dead." The voice was deep, rough, serious. Jesse froze completely and lowered his gun. Something about that voice tugged at something in his mind but he couldn't place it. It terrified him none-the-less.  
  
"Ay ay, I ain't shootin'. Dun 'spose ye'd get yer gun off mah head?" His question was answered with it digging harder into his scalp. "Ai'ght, I git it.." He dropped his gun and raised his hands very slowly up into the air.  
  
"You were the one that shot at the transport. Turn around."  
  
Jesse sucked in a sharp breath at the man's words, because if he knew that, he must have been watching him if he'd known that. So he slowly turned, keeping his hands up. The very first thing Jesse noticed about the man was that there was blood sliding down the side of his face. And then it hit him. He hadn't missed his last target, the man must have moved at the last second and it only grazed his forehead. He could feel the hair rising on his body just looking at the man. His face had scars besides the one from Jesse's bullet.  
  
"Uh.. yer.. not gonna shoot me are ya?" Jesse's voice was more steady than he currently felt. And the man's dark eyes bore down on him as though they could burn a hole straight through his forehead. There was a deepening frown, almost a scowl, growing on the soldier's face and Jesse felt his heart start to beat faster and made him feel dizzy.  
  
"Fuck.. you're just a kid."  
  
"Ah.. well..." Jesse didn't finish what he'd started to say as the dizzy feeling spread, his legs wobbled, and he stumbled forward. The man taking the movement as aggressive, hit him upside the head and knocked him unconscious.  
  
*  
  
The first thing he noticed when he came to, was that his body was strapped to a chair. He blinked against the harsh light of the very white room. His eyes taking it in with curiosity overriding some of the feel that was swirling around in his gut. There was a door on the wall in front of him, a table and a chair as well. A security camera glared down at him from the ceiling in one of the corners. He figured it must be an interrogation room, since it wasn't a cell.  
  
Jesse frowned and worried at his lip, wondering if any of the gang had survived besides himself. He was sure someone must have, but he wasn't sure if they were free or not. His thoughts were disrupted by the door opening and the blond man, Morrison, entered. His expression seemed grim and as he sat down across from him. His elbows rested on the table and he steepled his fingers together as he studied Jesse. The look was returned with as blank a stare as he could manage.  
  
"Sooo..." The poster child of Overwatch had a smooth voice, but it sounded tired and maybe a little frustrated. "What's your name?" Jesse said nothing and just stared at the blond. "Okaaay..." Jesse wondered if this guy had ever at any point in his life interrogated someone before. Because he was really shitty at it and he was having a hard time not laughing. The man kept trying, asking a long list of questions. Jesse stayed silent, just continuing to stare at him. And maybe ogle him a little because the man was impressive looking if not seeming to be all that smart. This was getting tiring though so he decided to change tact.

  
_"What do you want you pretty asshole?"_ The spanish flowed off his tongue with just a hint of a smirk that he straightened as quickly as possible. It resulted in a very surprised expression to cross the commander's face.  
  
"... can you speak english?" He seemed confused, as though he'd expected Jesse to be able to and was utterly unprepared for this situation.  
  
_"Can you speak out your mouth instead of your ass? Seems unlikely Commander Shitface."_ When the sparkling blond just looked even more befuddled, clearly not understanding, Jesse spoke more. _"You'd think the commander of Overwatch wouldn't be so awful at interrogations."_  
  
Now that got his attention, causing his eyes to narrow at the mention of Overwatch. "You know who I am don't you?" Jesse gave him another blank stare.  
  
"Commander Pendejo." Was what he finally responded with. His expression neutral as he stared down Jack Morrison. Jesse's legs were shaking in terror, but the upper half of his body was as still as he could make it, trying to look intimidating.  
  
Morrison groaned and looked completely exasperated at the teenager in front of him, and he sat back in his chair for a moment before abruptly standing up and leaving the room. Once he was gone Jesse let out a sigh and would have laid his head on the table if he wasn't tied to the chair. It seemed as though a long period of time went by before the door opened again, but it was probably a lot less than it felt like.  
  
It wasn't Morrison this time. It was the man that had caught him trying to shoot Morrison. Now that he could see the man in the light, something about his face made Jesse squint and stare at him intently. The very built man didn't seem to care one bit about how he was being looked at as he sat in the chair that Jack had vacated. His gaze focusing on Jesse's face and just silently sitting there observing him. The silence stretched on for at least five minutes until Jesse couldn't take it anymore.  
  
_"You gonna say anything or are you just as stupid?"_ Jesse blanched when the man just smiled at him.  
  
A hand lifted up to the beanie on the man's head, adjusting it slightly before he jerked a thumb up at the camera in the corner of the room. "You know we have translators outside the room. Jack was pretty pissed when he found out what you said to him." His arms crossed over his chest and he gave Jesse this almost sympathetic look. "I know you speak english kid. Why not just make this easier on everyone hm?"  
  
That deflated his snarkiness quickly, and Jesse slumped down in the chair. This man was not like the Strike Commander. He was different in a way that Jesse couldn't put his finger on. But both of them caused an itch in the back of his mind, as if there was something he knew about them that he shouldn't, but couldn't remember it.  
  
"I ain't tellin' ya nothin' bout the gang. I ain't a snitch." The look on the man's face didn't change, just continued to look at him as though he could see right through him to his bones. "Ain't that what'cha want? Info?"  
  
"Don't need it." Those dark eyes of his narrowed slightly as he leaned forward to lean on the table. "The rest of them are dead. You're the only one left."  
  
Jesse felt his heart and stomach drop to the floor and tears prick at his eyes, his fingers curling against the arm of the chair. His soft brown eyes properly meeting the darker brown of the older man's. "Dead..?" the question was almost a whisper and before the man could even respond, Jesse could feel the heat of his tears spilling over his cheeks. "...everyone's dead..." He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and held back the sob that wanted to crawl up his throat.  
  
"You're looking at something worse than that. Life in federal prison." His face and voice did not betray any hint of sympathy for Jesse's tears. "You murdered four of my men, I should be happy to throw you to the dogs..." There was something unsaid and left hanging there and Jesse's eyes snapped open to stare at him suspiciously.  
  
"But?" His fingers loosened his grip on the chair, wiggling them a little so blood would flow back into them. The soldier leaned forward on the table as if was going to impart some secret to Jesse.  
  
"Well, you see you can either rot in prison, or you have the option of working for me." His tone was straightforward and calm, but there was just a hint of something else in that that Jesse wasn't sure what it was. "Besides.. you called the Strike Commander a shitface and an asshole. Can't help but like you a little for that, kid." A low chuckle rumbled up through the man's chest and Jesse stared at him harder.  
  
"Ya... want me to be part of Overwatch?" Jesse was confused and it was clear in the way he asked. He was a criminal, weren't the heroes of Overwatch, well Heroes? Hero he was not.  
  
"No." His voice was firm and Jesse was even more confused. "I want you as part of Blackwatch."  
  
"What the fuck is Blackwatch?" Jesse was getting suspicious now, but anything this man might have to offer would probably be better than being in prison until he died.  
  
"Covert Ops, kid. The dirty work."  
  
"Then.. Deadlock.. Why was the Strike Commander there then??" Jesse tried to shift in his chair as things seemed to get more confusing by the moment. But his ass was numb and it made it hard to think.  
  
"We're still part of Overwatch, sometimes our missions overlap. I'm sure you're aware of what got the Deadlocks in our shit basket." Jesse nodded and the man sighed softly. "Those weapons were a US Military shipment. There was no way that was going to be overlooked."  
  
"Damn.. I knew it.. never shoulda brought that stuff back.." He closed his eyes then leaned his head back against the chair. A heavy sigh making him collapse in on himself. The bigger man said nothing, just sat there silently while Jesse mulled it over in his head. "Fine, ya got it, Boss." His eyes opened and he had a tired resigned look in them. There was no point in fighting it, anything was better than life in prison.  
  
The Latino man got to his feet and came around the table, Jesse's muscles tensed as he reached towards him, but they relaxed when his restraints were removed and he could get out of that uncomfortable chair. Once Jesse was on his feet, he stretched out his cramped muscles, arching his back and letting out a loud yawn. It took another moment before he realized the man was leaning against the table watching him.  
  
"What's your name, and how old are you, kid?" The man's tone had softened considerably and Jesse wasn't sure why. His face didn't give any indication to his thoughts, especially not when the man seemed to have resting bitch face.  
  
"Jesse McCree, and I'm almost eighteen.. sir." He'd considered lying about it, but something about the man made him reconsider the safety of that option. Once the words were out of his mouth, Morrison came back into the room, his face set in a frown, but there was something in his hands. "My HAT!"  
  
His exclamation seemed to have startled the blond man and his new boss plucked the hat from Morrison's grasp, earning him a deeper frown. Jesse tried to snatch it away but it was raised up in the air and away from his reach.  
  
"Easy kid, I had them clean it up for you. You don't want to get it dirty again already do you?" A memory like a gunshot blazed through Jesse's mind at those words and his eyes went back and forth between the two men. The realization was overwhelming and he sat down hard in the chair he'd vacated only moments before. These two men.. he knew them, both of them. And not from the posters or vids. "Something the matter kid?"  
  
Jesse shook his head and just stared at the two of them. Jack shifted uneasily under his gaze. "Sheesh Gabe, you'd think you just killed the kid's dog or something. Why do you always have that effect on people?" That just earned the commander a small chuckle and a shake of his head.  
  
"Shut up Jack, you aren't any better." The man leaned towards Jesse then, placing one of his large calloused hands on Jesse's shoulder. "By the way kid, I'm Gabriel Reyes. Commander of Blackwatch."  
  
Jesse's eyes darted up to look up at Gabriel. This was the man that had saved his life all those years ago. And he'd just done it again, saved him from death, and prison. A warm feeling like a tiny flame caught in his chest. He owed this man his life, twice over. That warmth sparked the beginnings of admiration.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to learn the ropes.

Since Jesse wasn't eighteen just yet, he still had about five months until that time, he was made a ward of Overwatch. Morrison had been annoyed at first, but Reyes had said something to him that Jesse didn't quite hear. Whatever it was, he was grateful that he didn't have to go somewhere else until he was old enough to officially join.  
  
Jack Morrison sort of rubbed Jesse the wrong way, but he didn't dislike the man. Jack was actually really accommodating, and set up an allowance for him to get food and other personal items from the on base store and mess hall. He definitely appreciated it since he had nothing to his name besides a gun and a hat. Well.. a hat. They had taken his gun, told him that until he had the proper training he wouldn't get it back. It had irked him to be treated like that, but he was told it was protocol and there wasn't anything he could do about it. So he let it go.  
  
He had other things to think about for now anyway, like the tour that Commander Reyes was currently giving him of the base. He was focused on absorbing the layout of the base and all the little bits of info that the older man dropped about when it was a good time to do this or that, what days of the week had the best selection of food in the mess, where he should never linger around or he'd get himself in trouble. Despite the harsh visage that Gabriel gave off and the way that people would scurry out of his way as if terrified he'd even glance in their direction, or how some would stand at attention so sharply he was unsure how they weren't breaking their spines, the man was actually rather good-natured. Jesse wondered if maybe there was a dark horrible side to the man that demanded fear and respect from everyone they passed. He just couldn't see it.  
  
Eventually they reached the barracks and Reyes led him to where his small room was located. To Jesse's relief it was a single and he wouldn't have to share it with anyone else. Jesse sat down on the cot and looked around the room, taking in that this was going to be his "home". It was a little hard for his mind to hold that concept firm. Part of his mind telling him over and over that he was going to wake up and be back at Deadlock Gorge. Reyes was leaning against the door frame just watching his new recruit take everything in, a little quirk of his lips that could have been a smile.  
  
"You should get some rest kid. I don't have all that long to bring you up to speed with the other members of blackwatch and you don't have the advantage of a military background." He didn't really seem upset about that even as he mentioned it.  
  
"¿Hablas español?" Jesse didn't know why he asked, since he hadn't heard the man actually speak any, but then again you can't judge that quickly, the man was a covert ops commander, there was no telling what he knew.  
  
"Sorry, I don't." He shook his head softly, some look passing ever so briefly over his face that Jesse wasn't quite sure if he'd actually seen it. "I know a few words and can understand some conversation, but that's about it, I can't really speak it. My mama didn't since my abuelita didn't want her ostracized as a kid." He shrugged a little before rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Considered taking some lessons, but never had the time."  
  
"I can teach you!" Jesse's offer came out a little more exuberant than he'd meant it too and he quickly tried to recover with a straight face that was failing at being all that serious looking.  
  
Jesse could not read the expression that passed over Reyes' face. He was very surprised and startled when a deep heartfelt sounding laugh exploded out of the older man, his head tipping back. Gabriel wiped at his eyes after a moment and stepped more into the room, Jesse giving him a slightly confused smile. The sudden warmth of the man's hand on top of his head ruffling his hair, and the gentleness of his voice had the admiration that had begun inside Jesse to swell.  
  
"Sure, kid. After training we'll spend some time on it." He gave Jesse's head a little pat before his hand pulled back and he moved towards the door. "Like I said though, get some rest. This training is going to be rough. I won't go easy on you." As Reyes walked away he raised his hand in what might have been a bit of a wave, but Jesse wasn't really sure.  
  
After the man was gone, he flopped back on the cot that was now his. His eyes roving over the ceiling as if looking for something, hidden there under the metal. He laid a hand on his chest and tapped his fingers against his breastbone. Gabriel Reyes... was he his guardian angel? The thought made Jesse chuckle and close his eyes with a smile at such a ridiculous thought. Maybe not, but it didn't mean he couldn't pretend that Reyes was.  
  
*  
  
A loud knock on his door jerked him out of sleep and his breath came in huge heaving gasps in his fright for a couple seconds. Jesse almost tripped as he got out of bed and went to open the small room's door. Reyes stood there, a bundle of clothes in his arms. "Here kid, standard issue. We'll meet at the gym in fifteen so be quick." With that he pressed the bundle into Jesse's arms and turned to stride off.  
  
Jesse just stood there watching Reyes' back as he walked down the hall, every bit as commanding as deserved of his rank. A few other soldiers snapped to attention in the hallway as he passed them, saluting, before he turned a corner and Jesse couldn't see him anymore. It took him at least thirty seconds to realize he had to change and get his ass in gear. Once he was ready he got slightly lost retracing his steps back to the gym and ended up a couple minutes late. There were soldiers waiting there and they all looked at him in irritation.  
  
What even was this? Was Reyes including him in regular training even though he wasn't officially a member for some months yet?  
  
"You're late, McCree." Gabriel's tone really took him aback and he scrambled to line up with the others. His commander's hand gestured to him. "Everyone, this is our new recruit. He hasn't enjoyed the formal training you've all been so privileged to have. He won't be officially a member of the team until his birthday, so don't harass him. If I find out any of you little shits have, I'll personally make an example of you on the mats." The blackwatch members turned their heads to look at Jesse with a mix of disgust, confusion, and curiosity.  
  
Reyes continued speaking after a moment, his words shifting to another topic, and the looks gradually faded away from him as they became too occupied listening to their commander's instructions. They all broke off after a moment to run laps. Jesse started to follow, but a large hand landed on his shoulder and stopped him.  
  
"If you can't do all the laps its okay, but try to do as much as you can. I need to see what your current level is." Gabriel wasn't even looking at him as he spoke. His eyes were focused on the track, keeping an eye on the group doing their laps. He gave Jesse a gentle push to get started.  
  
After just three laps Jesse was panting and couldn't do much more than shuffle along. How was he supposed to do ten of them? He looked towards Gabriel and trudged along over to the man. His breathing heavy and raspy sounding.  
  
"I'm too tired to do more.." Reyes looked down at him as though he was reading a report that told him all of McCree's weaknesses. It made him think that this man could be terrifying if you didn't know him personally. Not that Jesse really did, and it occurred to him that he might just be being nice because he wasn't eighteen yet, but he easily shook that thought away, convinced it wasn't like that.  
  
"You run too fast so you waste all of what limited stamina you have. Take a short breather then get back at it, but don't rush around the track like there's a rabid dog on your heels." Jesse felt like he wanted to take offense but he was too tired to muster it up and he could tell it wasn't meant to be a jab, just a critique of his performance.  
  
Gabriel didn't let him rest for more than two minutes at the most before sending him back out to the track. He tried to do as Reyes had told him but he was still getting winded really quickly. The other Blackwatch members barely glanced at him and it made him embarrassed. It was good his face was already red from running so he could pretend that's all it was from.  
  
"You're not breathing the right way for running, McCree." Gabriel's voice next to him had Jesse almost jump out of his skin in surprise and he stumbled. Reyes grabbed his arm as though it was nothing and steadied him as they slowed into a light jog. "Breath in through your nose and exhale from your mouth."  
  
It took him a bit to get the hang of it, but it definitely made the jogging easier. He wasn't feeling quite so winded even though his muscles were starting to ache. Reyes put his hand in the middle of Jesse's back and started to push him forward as he increased his speed. Forcing Jesse to keep pace with him. Jesse was vaguely aware of the odd looks the other blackwatch members were giving him. He guessed that it was because he was nowhere near in shape as the rest of them.  
  
Gabriel kept him running until he was starting to stumble over his own feet, then let him slow to a walk. "Going to need to work on your stamina." The hand dropped away once he was allowed to finally stop moving. He was breathing heavily, his face flushed from ear tips to shoulders, and dripping sweat like no ones business. He felt like his clothing was completely soaked. Hunched over and panting he didn't see Reyes come back up to him, and then something cold touched the side of his face and he drew away quickly in surprise. "Drink up kid."   
  
There was his.. boss.. just looking down at him while holding out a bottle of water, a slight smirk on his lips as if he found the entire situation personally amusing. Jesse was too tired to complain and just took the bottle, sipping from it. A low mumble of thanks slipping out once his mouth didn't feel like it'd been dried out in the hot sun.  
  
Reyes barked at the rest of the group to head to the mats for sparring. Giving them instructions before turning back to Jesse. "Okay kid, on your feet. You have training to do." Jesse glanced up at him confused that he wasn't telling him to go spar with the others. "Do I gotta repeat myself?"  
  
"N-no sir.." He quickly hopped up as Reyes turned to head towards the weight room, Jesse trailed after him like a confused puppy. He heard a few of the other Blackwatch members speaking softly, his name seemingly louder on their tongues than anything else they were saying.  
  
Jesse spent the rest of the morning lifting weights under Reyes' close supervision and direction. By the time it was lunch, his body ached so bad he could barely drag himself to the mess hall. He cursed himself for not bringing his money and slumped down at a table without getting anything. He was too tired to go all the way back to his room to get his money. His head lifted up when a few of the blackwatch members sat down with him and looked at him expectantly.  
  
"So.. kid.." The person talking to him had sat down next to him and Jesse shifted just a little further away, as the guy was a bit too in his personal space. "You're the one we picked up from the Deadlocks aren't you?" A hand was extended over to him, a piece of fruit in the man's palm. The guy set it down in front of Jesse when he replied with a slight nod.  
  
Jesse had grabbed the fruit and was eating it before he realized he had even touched it. He was hungrier than he'd thought he was. Once he'd swallowed the bite he looked over at the blond, brown eyed man. "Why?" His tone was cautious, he didn't know these people after all, it was pretty much like walking into the hideout of an enemy gang.  
  
"Well none of us ever expected to see the commander take an interest in someone so green." That had Jesse tilting his head questioningly and making the man chuckle slightly. "Commander Reyes is a hard ass ruthless killing machine." The guy leaned in closer and Jesse resisted the strong urge to lean away. "Anyone from the war would be able to tell you stories of how he ripped the heads off of omnics with his bare hands."  
  
"He.. he's that strong?" Jesse's eyes lit up and he glanced across the room to where he could see Reyes sitting with the Strike Commander while he ate. The woman that had sat down on his other side lightly punched his shoulder and his head jerked to look at her and the suspicious grin on her face.  
  
"Sheesh, you are still such a kid aren't you, babyface?" She laughed and patted him on the back, causing him to look down at the table, his face flushed in embarrassment. "If I didn't know better I'd think you were getting a little crush on our Commander. But I do know better. We all respect him, because he's good at what he does.. but he's a hardass and I don't think anyone could stand him longer than a one night stand." She laughed and Jesse frowned.  
  
His eyes lifted back up to look at Gabriel Reyes wide back. Was he really as bad as that? "What's tha'posed to mean?" It seemed such an odd thing to say. "He got a tiny dick or somethin'?" He hadn't actually paid enough attention to notice whether or not his command was packing.  
  
"Ha! As if! You must be such a prude. Too embarrassed to look, babyface?"  
  
"Hey, now, I'll have ya know I ain't a cowboy fer nuthin'." He set what was left of the fruit on the table and turned more towards her.  
  
"Ohh I see, well you can take your time because I don't think anyone else would dare go after a man like that." Jesse's face flushed with heat at that, shaking his head quickly. He couldn't start thinking about Reyes like that, the man had saved his life. "Well here's your chance to ogle the goods, babyface." She was standing up and taking her tray from the table when he realized that Reyes was walking straight towards them.  
  
The woman was up and with a quick pat of her hand on his shoulder she extricated herself from the group, likely not wishing to face possible ire from the Commander. But it definitely gave Jesse the chance to stare straight at the man's crotch as he approched the table. The pants he was wearing weren't exactly tight, but it didn't leave much to the imagination. His head jerked up quickly so he could at least stare at Reyes' chin.  
  
"Ready for more training?" Jesse just groaned and pushed himself up from his seat at the table. His body was not going to be happy the next morning.


	10. Chapter 10

Jesse was sprawled on his small bed, his muscles aching and his head throbbing. The last few weeks had utterly exhausted him. Training day after day, one day a week where he got a break. Reyes was a strict man. He could feel the improvement in his body though, regardless of how much he ached. His commander knew what he was doing. He was just glad it was a rest day and he didn't have to work out or visit the clinic for a check up.  
  
Sure Angela was sweet and pretty as all hell, but it was embarrassing to have to be sent there constantly to make sure he wasn't being overworked. Reyes was a stickler for Jesse being checked constantly. He didn't quite understand just why the man was so adamant about it, it wasn't like he'd broken anything yet.  
  
With a yawn he pressed his face into his pillow and let out a frustrated noise. He was too tired to even jerk off on his days off. It left him feeling a bit too pent up and he considered going to hit on some of the other blackwatch members, but they knew he wasn't eighteen just yet and they would laugh in his face. He was still jailbait and they weren't interested. It was all he could think about while laying there on the bed. It was not how he wanted to spend his day, so with a grunt he pushed himself out of bed and decided to go find his commander. Maybe the man would be up for practicing a bit of spanish. Though he expected Reyes would probably be busy or relaxing and might not appreciate the interruption.  
  
Pushing the concern away he pulled on a shirt and his sweatpants. Too lazy to dress in anything more than that. Didn't even bother putting on socks. Just padded down the halls barefoot. He hadn't had a chance yet to really get a good look at the rec room so he headed there first. It was surprisingly empty. Jesse wondered if maybe everyone else was too tired to bother with it. There was no sign of his commander there though, and he almost left the room before something caught his eye.  
  
Jesse moved through the room, going past the holotv over to a shelf on the far wall that looked like it didn't get much attention. What with actually dusty looking old boxes of board games. He was reminded that he'd only ever seen people playing cards at the mess hall and a pack is easier than lugging a box around after all. That wasn't what he cared about though. There was something behind the boxes, just the tip of it exposed. With a careful hand he moved the boxes out of the way and snatched up his prize.  
  
He couldn't believe his luck as he ran his fingers over the smooth, dusty, body of a guitar. A nice old wooden one. He turned it over in his hands, finding a name etched into the back of it. Bowden. He wondered who that was as he hadn't met any agents by that name. It looked like it hadn't been played in a long time though and he sat down on the couch to start cleaning all the dust off it. After testing the strings and tuning it he strummed a few notes and made a pleased sound in his throat.  
  
Seeing as he was alone he started humming softly while playing the old thing. He was surprised at how nice it sounded and figured it was very well made. He looked up in surprise when a pair of small feet moved into his line of sight. There was a young girl standing there watching him. Dark hair and eyes a cute face and a pretty flower dress.  
  
"Howdy, didn' know we had mice here." He gave her a smile, she must be the kid of someone on base. He didn't know who but it didn't really surprise him. People fucked and had kids afterall, regardless of where they were. The girl smiled at him and moved to sit on the other end of the couch, her eyes large as saucers.  
  
"Are you Jesse?" Her words were very clear even with the accent that he couldn't place for the life of him. He was more surprised she knew who he was than the fact that she spoke clearly.  
  
"How'd'ya figure?" His fingers tapped lightly at the body of the guitar as he tilted his head questioningly.  
  
"Uncle Gabi said there was a new boy. You are new and a boy."  
  
"Uncle Gabi?" Jesse blinked in confusion, his thoughts trying to figure out what she was talking about. A disgusted expression passed over her face and she crossed her arms over her chest, disappointed in his ignorance.  
  
"Commander Gabriel." She huffed out the name and his eyes widened. "Kinda dumb you don't even know who your boss is."  
  
"I know who he is. I just didn't know he was your uncle.." That got a laugh out of her and he looked at her quizzically. "What?"  
  
"He's not my real uncle. But he's one of my mom's best friends. Like uncle Jack." She shook her head then pointed at the guitar in his lap. "Do you know.. umm.." She started humming a song that he did in fact recognize.  
  
"Hm.." Jesse tapped at the side of his head trying to remember the band's name. "Ah think its Linkin Park? Right round the turn'a century I believe. Ain't my kinda music, but yeah I know it." He had to think for a few more minutes to remember the notes before picking at the strings.  
  
"That ones uncle Gabi's favorite." She smiled up at him with the brightest smile he'd ever seen and had to let out a little cough to not choke himself at the revelation.  
  
"Yer.. not kiddin' are ya?" She shook her head with her smile still beaming at him. "Heh.. well.. you know the words?" When she nodded, he laughed and started to really get into playing, letting her sing along with the music. He didn't know the words himself, just knew the tune.  
  
Not long into playing the song, he saw her expression change, her singing growing more enthusiastic and before he could turn to see what she was looking at, he felt a large warm hand land on his shoulder. Jesse didn't have to look to know who was standing behind him. When his hands faltered and wasn't able to keep up with the song, the little girl held her arms out and the hand left his shoulder.  
  
Gabriel stepped around the side of the couch to lift the girl into his arms while she threw her arms around his neck and pressed her face into his cheek. She looked so damn happy, and what was more shocking was the soft, gentle, loving look on his commander's face. Jesse just sat there with the guitar in his lap watching as Reyes ruffled the small girl's hair and kissed her cheek.  
  
"Is it break already Fareeha?" His voice was kind and almost fatherly sounding and Jesse felt his stomach flutter in uncertainty. It was cute, but at the same time it seemed so strange. He hadn't seen Reyes act like this before, acting like a doting father figure. Jesse couldn't decide if he was jealous of it or weirded out.  
  
"Yep! Mom said I can stay here for the whole week!" Her little hands were tugging off the beanie on Reyes' head and Jesse just held his breath as short tight curls were revealed covering the top of the man's head, the sides shaved and fuzzy looking. The girl's tiny fingers wiggled into Gabriel's hair and he tilted his head forward so she could play with the curls.  
  
Jesse didn't even realize he'd broken out in a cold sweat until the child drew Gabriel's attention back to him. "Your boyfriend plays good music, Gabi." She was pointing right at Jesse and he could feel his skin on fire and his breath caught in his throat. His face turning even more red when his boss just let out a deep throaty chuckle.  
  
"He's a new recruit, hummingbird. He's not even eighteen yet. Still just a kid like you." Jesse wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or insulted. Reyes seemed to take pity on him though and set the girl down. "Scoot girl, your mom was looking for you." Whether or not that pity was a good or bad thing was yet to be seen as the child scampered away and Reyes turned his full attention to Jesse, who was making himself as small as possible on the couch. "So, you can play huh?"  
  
Jesse nodded quickly and curled his fingers tighter around the neck of the guitar as Gabriel sat himself down on the other end of the couch. The man's dark brown eyes felt like they were boring into him and looking at his insides. Even the smile that pulled up the corners of his lips seemed almost frightening. When did that happen? Was that what all the other recruits and agents saw when they looked at Reyes?  
  
"Uh... was lookin' fer you actually..." Jesse's voice trailed off without finishing his thought because it slipped away when Reyes raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
"Really now? What did you need Jesse?" His tone was so casual and smooth that he couldn't help but to relax. Reyes was actually good at just talking when he was feeling social. "Don't worry about what Fareeha said either, she's got a fanciful imagination."  
  
"Ah yeah okay." He took a deep breath then forced his body to relax. "I don't actually remember what it was about. But uh.. got any requests?" He lifted the guitar a little before settling back into the soft cushion of the couch.  
  
Reyes chuckled softly and shook his head. "Why not play something you like?" Gabriel had lifted up one of his legs to rest his foot on the cushion, the other still on the floor. His fingers playing with a lighter and looking as if he wanted to have a cigarette but knew he couldn't inside.  
  
Jesse nodded and pulled his gaze away from Gabriel's twitching, restless fingers. His own fingers thrumming over the strings of the guitar. His eyes having dropped down to look at the cushion that sat between them on the couch. The sound of the song easing his eyes closed while he played. A soft hum coming from his throat, getting lost in the feeling of playing and his mouth opened to sing softly, forgetting he had an audience.  
  
_On a moonless summer night_  
_Raindrops on the windshield_  
_There's a storm movin' in_  
_He's headin' back from somewhere_  
_That he never should have been_  
  
When he finishes the song, he hears a soft low whistle and his head jerks up, eyes flying open to stare at commander Reyes who has a rather impressed smirk on his face. There was an intense heat rushing into his face and he couldn't stop the slight squirming in his seat.  
  
"I'm impressed kid, where'd you learn to play like that? Voice ain't bad either." Gabriel was leaning forward on his knee studying Jesse's face and he could feel his head swimming in embarrassment. He shoved his embarrassment away to put on his cocky face.  
  
"Ya like that boss?" He smirked and gave Gabriel a little finger gun motion that got him a roll of the older man's eyes. "My pa taught me to play." Jesse's expression growing slightly distant for a moment. "Brushed up on it more in the orphanage, then practiced a lot while with the gang. Played round the bonfires at night, parties like that get livelier when there's music after all ya know?" He winked at his commander and heard the soft chuckle.  
  
"Were you one of the kids displaced by the war?" The gentleness of the question surprised him and his cocky attitude dropped for a moment, his head nodding.  
  
"Lived in Santa Fe with my folks.." He then gave Gabriel a long searching look until he saw the unspoken sympathetic question in those dark brown eyes. "Yeah.. my folks.. lost 'em in that first attack."  
  
"Sorry, kid.." There was something in that look he was getting that seemed more like regret than anything else. As if the older man, the soldier wished there was something about the past he could change. As if maybe he could have stopped the war sooner or something.  
  
"Nah, you and commander Morrison did what ya could out there." Jesse blinked when Reyes' eyes narrowed.  
  
"How do you know Jack and I were there? That was one of the first American cities to be attacked." Jesse felt his eyes go wide and he hunched down into the couch cushions as Gabriel shifted, looming over him, suspicion clear in his face. The man was way too paranoid.  
  
"Cause... because I saw you there!" He blurted it out thoughtlessly and Gabriel's expression took on a confused and softer look. Jesse pushed back against the arm of the couch, setting the guitar aside on the floor. His gaze dropping down and his voice shaking slightly. "I.. saw both of you. I was just a little kid.. me and my friend, we got trapped in the basement of his house.... you..." He swallowed thickly and lifted his eyes to meet Gabriel's, the last words coming out in Spanish. _"You saved me."_  
  
The man leaning over him froze, just staring at him, meeting his gaze and neither of them looked away from the other. After what seemed like a good few minutes, Gabriel's eyes closed and he let out a soft breath, shifting back to his previous position on the couch. His hand playing with his lighter again. The cap flicking open and closed repeatedly.  
  
"Well, god damn. You were the one with the hat." He shook his head, the amazement clear on his face, and Jesse couldn't help but let out a soft laugh.  
  
"This hat." Jesse tipped the brim of his hat towards Gabriel. "One and the same." The older man just clucked his tongue and moved to stand up, looking down at Jesse with this look of disblief playing there. "Was my grandpa's hat."  
  
"Sheesh.. trouble must follow you around like fleas on a dog." Gabriel smirked and held out his hand to help Jesse up from the couch. "Gonna go have a smoke, wanna join me?"  
  
"Guess so, but ya know you've already saved my life twice now." He couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face as he took his commander's hand. That got a little laugh as he followed him up to the stairs that led to the rooftop. "Yer name suits ya, since you're like a guardian angel." That got a loud scoff as Gabriel opened the door that led outside.  
  
"Don't be getting all emotional on me kid. I'm probably the furthest thing from an angel you can get." He sighed as he leaned against the railing that ran around the rooftop. The sound of birds in the distance.  
  
"Well angels are supposed to be scary and shit." Jesse laughed as Reyes held out a cigarette to him. Jesse placed it between his lips and leaned forward while the commander lit it for him. He took a long drag from it as the older man lit up his own. A huff of smoke came from his mouth before he spoke again. "Maybe you're the angel of death. Pretty sure the biblical Gabriel scared the shit out of people too."  
  
Reyes let out a snort and shook his head. "You are one strange kid." His tone leaked a soft fondness though and Jesse felt a warm feeling stir in his chest.  
  
"I'm not a kid." He huffed slightly in mock offense before taking another long drag on the smoke.  
  
"You're a kid until I say you aren't." The words were teasing, but there was a hint of seriousness in there too. Jesse rolled his eyes and nodded.  
  
"Only if you promise to keep being mi angel guardián." He tried to give Gabriel a flirty look, but just got an exasperated groan in response. Jesse laughed it off and turned to lean over the railing, looking up at the sky. "I really 'preciate it though boss." His tone was sincere and he blinked for a second when he felt Gabriel's hand on top of his head ruffling his hair. A wide smile stretching his lips as the older man rested his hand there while he finished his cigarette.  
  
A slight feeling of disappointment passed through him when the large warm hand was pulled away. "Come on Jesse, I got some paperwork you can help with." Jesse didn't even mind that he was getting dragged away from his day off to go help Reyes. There was a warm feeling in his chest and he felt oddly content. This was a man worth following. His admiration for the commander grew larger and something else stirred in him as well. Something he decided not to think about right then.


	11. Chapter 11

Jesse lost track of time while training took over his life. The weeks sliding by quickly as he improved faster than he thought possible. He had to give it to Reyes, the guy may have been a hardass, but he was getting the most out of McCree. The admiration that had only deepened for the older man helped a lot with that as well though, since it gave him the motivation to try to prove himself and make the man proud of him.  
  
That other feeling that had flickered to life inside him was growing as well, although he told himself it wasn't there and ignored it as best he could for the time being. However, he practically followed his commander around like an eager puppy looking for attention and scraps. Jesse hadn't realized just how obvious he was being to others until he was confronted by one of the other Blackwatch agents.  
  
The locker room was mostly empty and he was pulling off sweaty clothes and looking forward to getting into the shower to work out his sore muscles. He had his back to the room and the sudden feeling of a hand against his back made a startled sound slip out of his mouth. The hand was positioned right between his shoulder blades and shoved him against the door of his locker with enough force to slightly dent the door with the impact of his forehead. The shock left him dazed and it took a few seconds for his brain to process what was happening.  
  
"Stay still, I ain't gonna do nothing." The voice sounded familiar but he couldn't quite place it. Just one of the random agents he'd trained with that didn't talk much.  
  
"If'n that's the case, why you shoving me like a creeper?" He let out a little irritated huff, his head throbbing a bit from the impact with the locker.  
  
"Doubt you'd be interested in answering my questions otherwise." That got Jesse to roll his eyes and snort softly but he didn't dignify it with a verbal response. "You've been real buddy buddy with the commander lately. You thinking if you get in his pants he's gonna give you special treatment or something?" Whoever this guy was he was pretty snappish and Jesse felt a little dumbfounded.  
  
"Wha.. what the fuck you talkin' about?" Jesse's indignant tone had him curling his lip and he tried to push off the locker but the man behind him grabbed his shirt and twisted it around his arms, pinning him against the cold metal.  
  
"You think you're subtle? If you had a tail you'd be wagging it every time you laid eyes on Commander Reyes." The man let out a laugh that sounded disgusted. "Its fucking pathetic. The commander isn't some golden boy like Commander Morrison. Don't even know why you were put in Blackwatch. This ain't a place for pups like you." That had McCree letting out a soft groan of distaste.  
  
"Yer just jealous ain't'cha? All hot an bothered thinkin' bout Reyes' ass huh?" Jesse laughed and had his head slammed into the locker for it. "Bet ya can't stop thinkin' bout having them thick thighs crushin' yer head." That rewarded him with another harsh slam of his head and the unpleasant crunching sound of his nose being broken, hot blood pouring down over his lips. The thick iron taste sliding down his throat and making him cough a bit.  
  
"As if, jail bait." It may have hurt but he felt a sense of gratification as the man ground his face into the locker, smearing blood across the metal and Jesse's face.  
  
"Hn.. bet'cha wish ya could crush yer ugly face into his crotch. Yer sure doin' a good job with mine and this locker." His tone was mocking and choppy as Jesse choked a bit on his own blood. But the satisfaction he got as the man angrily tried to bash his head harder into the locker was reward enough. More so was when Jesse lifted his foot and kicked back hard, right into the bastard's dick.  
  
The hands let go of him immediately and the man hunched over on the ground, vomiting from the pain. Jesse spit in the man's hair, more blood than spit. He pulled his shirt back down, not wanting to stay in the locker room with the asshole on the floor.  
  
Feet taking him quickly down the halls, trying to reach his room before anyone could notice him, figuring he could just wash up in the sink in the tiny bathroom attached to his room. He wasn't really sure why he didn't just go to the med-bay, but he didn't want anyone to see him like this. At least not right at that moment. Not when his thoughts were rewinding what he'd said to the agent in the locker room. Realizing that what he'd said was from his own rather blatant observations of his boss. He was trying not to admit to himself that he was starting to develop a crush on Reyes. It was one thing to admire the guy, a completely different thing to have dirty thoughts about him.  
  
Sure he'd jokingly made flirty comments towards him, which were always brushed off with a roll of the commander's eyes, but he kept telling himself they were just jokes, he didn't mean them. At least he hadn't before.. but now? He wasn't sure. Was he attracted to Reyes? Yes, yes he was. The guy was built like a tank and could probably snap him like a twig, but as terrifying as the man looked he was actually a really good guy. Yeah he was a fucking hard ass during training, but that was his job. He had to make sure he wasn't going to be sending his agents to their deaths. Jesse understood that, appreciated it. It was a million times different from how Jackson had led the Deadlocks. They were disposable to the gang, a dime a dozen. But Blackwatch, they were important, every one of them was. Reyes was like a snarling mother wolf protecting and teaching her pups.  
  
The image of Reyes as a wolf parading around a litter of puppies made him snort and caused the blood that had congealed in his nose become dislodged and was bleeding fresh again. He felt himself get a little light headed and lifted his hand up to his head as he rounded a corner. The bruising on his face was going to be pretty bad, he could already tell from the way his face was throbbing painfully.  
  
Being too absorbed in his thoughts he walked straight into someone who had been standing in the hallway facing the other direction. Jesse stumbled backwards, falling on his ass and quickly trying to apologize before looking up and feeling the blood that wasn't coming out his nose drain out of his face.  
  
"Jesse?!" Reyes had been standing there talking to another recruit and he had walked right into the older man's back. Jesse didn't quite register the concern in his boss' voice at first until the man was crouching next to him. "What the hell happened to your face?"  
  
"Ah.. nuthin'..." He winced as Gabriel pushed his sweaty hair back from his face to inspect the damage. He felt the blood creeping back into his face as Reyes looped an arm around him to help him back up to his feet.  
  
"The fuck it is." The concerned tone was replaced by anger and Jesse wasn't sure if it was directed at him or not. He wasn't really paying much attention because his face was really hurting now that the initial shock was wearing off. Reyes had said something to the other recruit who had dashed off in the direction Jesse had just come from. "We'll talk about this later, but first we're going to medical and get your nose set."  
  
All that Gabriel got was a mumbled acknowledgment as Jesse let himself be led through the hallways to the med-bay. He may have been in a lot of pain, but he was eating up the attention he was getting from Reyes. It was nice having the solid warmth of the man against his side, and he felt a pang of disappointment as he was sat down in medical and Gabriel moved back to let Angela inspect his face.  
  
The young doctor made soft tsking sounds as she looked him over and started to fix him back up. Setting his nose and giving him some painkillers. She looked a bit disgusted as she finished up. Her mouth opened then closed before she said anything, her nimble fingers inspecting his hands and wrists. It took him a moment to realize why she was looking at his hands. She could tell he hadn't gotten in a fistfight, there was nothing on his hands to indicate it. There were however red marks on his wrists and arms from where they had been tightly tangled in his shirt.  
  
"Jesse, do you have any other injuries?" Her voice was soft and hesitant, almost as though she was asking something awkward and he blinked hard a few times before it dawned on him what she was really asking.  
  
"No, no no.. nothing else." She seemed relieved and patted his knee lightly before nodding to Gabriel and leaving them alone in the small exam room. The quiet of the room was a bit much, now that things had been mostly dealt with. Reyes' eyes on him, had him nervous and swallowing. Waiting for the inevitable questions to start.  
  
"Jesse, what happened?" The tone was firm and thankfully not angry.  
  
"Just a little argument. Some guy didn't like my face I guess." The look that got him was not one that he felt was safe to argue with and he sighed. "I don't know his name, some asshole I seen in trainin' once or twice. He was pissed off at me cause he thought I was tryna get in yer pants fer special treatment." Jesse closed his eyes with a sigh and coughed a little at a bit of blood still caught in his throat.  
  
Jesse heard a soft hiss of breath escaping from between Gabriel's teeth and he cracked open his eyes to look at the man that was seething, the anger palpable in the stillness of the small room. Jesse felt himself balk at just how angry Gabriel looked.  
  
"Hey.. its not a big deal ya know? Ain't nothin' I haven't heard before, I just got too cute of a face." Gabriel's head turned sharply towards him with a death glare and Jesse decided that hadn't been the right thing to say. "Uh.. um.."  
  
After a moment of listening to Jesse stutter and mumble trying to think of something to say, Gabriel closed his eyes while pinching the bridge of his nose. A heavy sigh escaping after a moment and his eyes settling on Jesse again. "It is a big deal Jesse. If people are getting that impression it can cause issues with morale and dissension between agents." The older man leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
"Obviously we both know that nothing is going on." He shook his head slowly and some part of Jesse dropped down into his guts unpleasantly. He nodded anyway, staying silent. "Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it."  
  
The uncomfortable feeling faded as Gabriel's rough hand found his hair and rubbed the top of his head gently for a moment. That soft reassuring touch made his heart melt and he couldn't feel or think about anything other than that touch. Jesse didn't even care that the reassuring gesture was something you'd do to a small child. He enjoyed it none-the-less. But before the hand could leave the crown of his head he spoke softly, not looking up at his mentor.  
  
"I'll prove I'm worth that attention to all of them."  
  
Gabriel's hand stilled and there was a long moment of silence between the two of them. Jesse didn't dare look up to see whatever sort of expression Reyes was making. He did look though when a soft chuckle left the older man's lips. The hand on his head slid down to the back of his neck and rubbed it gently for a moment.  
  
"I know you will, kid."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a short chapter. Next one should be longer.

Sometimes Jesse wondered what happened to that guy that had broken his nose, because he never did see the guy again. He assumed that Reyes just fired him and had him sent away, but then he did wonder if that was all it was. The guy was part of Blackwatch after all. He would stop thinking about it when the thoughts turned that direction.  
  
Jesse was true to his word though, he put more focus into his training so that he could prove he was worth every second of Reyes' time. It definitely didn't stop him from staying glued to his commander's heels. Gabriel didn't seem to mind though. He even let Jesse sit at a small table in his office, while he did paperwork, Jesse working on the studies that Reyes had insisted on so that he could get a GED.  
  
However, he wasn't blind, he saw the way that people looked at him. Less so the Blackwatch members. They had mostly become quite friendly with him and he had earned some respect from them. One thing he really learned about Blackwatch was how almost all of them were extremely loyal to Gabriel. They'd willingly walk through hell for him. They also didn't give much of a shit about Strike Commander Morrison. They respected him, but their loyalties only lay with Commander Reyes.  
  
 He was asked a few times, kindly, if there was something going on between him and Reyes. He'd just shake his head and they wouldn't mention it again. They were starting to feel like family to him, like the gang had been at first. He hoped it would stay that way. As for the people in Overwatch, they weren't privy to much of his training so they seemed bewildered by how much time he spent in the commander's company.  
  
A good example of that occurred when Gabriel was out on a mission and Jesse was pretty much moping in the mess hall, having gotten bored not long after he'd cheated his way to two-hundred dollars in a round of cards. Jesse had his arms draped over the table, a cup of coffee growing cold next to his arm, his cheek pressed to the cool tabletop. An eyebrow raised slightly as an Overwatch agent sat down across from him. Her chin resting on her hands as she looked at him. He couldn't quite recall her name but he knew her face.   
  
"You seem down." Her expression was warm and gentle. "Would it be safe to assume that it is because Gabriel is deployed?" There was a slight upward tug to the corner of her lips and Jesse felt his face get warmer as he looked off to the side.  
  
"Its not that." It was most definitely that.  
  
"Mhm.. Gabriel speaks frequently of you, as does Fareeha. They are both very fond of you." She reached out to pat his cheek in a soft motherly way, and he realized then who she was. Captain Amari, Fareeha's mother. The comment more than her patting had his face flaring up with much more intense heat.  
  
"Wha.. nah, Gabe wouldn't.." His voice trailed off as she smiled at him, and as he realized what he was saying wasn't true. The commander allowed Jesse a lot of leeway in pretty much anything other than training. The older man treated him like he was his kid or something. Jesse couldn't deny it. "Well.."  
  
"That he even lets you call him Gabe is pretty telling. Only people close to him are allowed to use nicknames. I am curious though, of what sort are the feelings you have for Gabriel?" There was no accusation there, but maybe a hint of concern.  
  
"Besides the kind I get seeing that nice ass of his?" Jesse's tone was steered towards it being just a joke, even if it was honestly more truth than joke. It still got him a light chuckle from the older woman. "Or you mean like feeling like I got a bit of family?" He lazily scratched at his cheek.   
  
"Either really, you are going to be eighteen soon right?" He nodded and rubbed at the patchy stubble on his chin, he needed to shave until the hair grew more uniformly.  
  
"Yeah, tomorrow actually. Not sure if he'll be back for it.. not that he should have any reason to celebrate it with me or nothin'." He looked down, away from her. "I mean it'd be nice but.. he's a busy guy."  
  
Ana let out a deep sigh and patted his cheek again. "That he is." She looked thoughtful for a long moment before speaking again. "Don't worry what anyone might say about the closeness you've developed with Gabriel. That man pushes people away with and without meaning to. He can be a very sociable person, but it is rare for him to really let himself care about someone." Her hand lightly rested on top of Jesse's then. "Jack is the only one I've seen him be completely open with."  
  
"Commander Morrison?" His head tilted slightly, it wasn't a secret that the two had worked together during the crisis. Hell he'd seen it first hand. But he hadn't realized that the two were that close. Ana nodded and gave him a soft smile.  
  
"They went through a lot together. I have never seen friends that close, who are strictly just friends." A soft chuckle left her when Jesse's gaze grew more intense at her words. "Do not worry, Jack is straighter than a summer day in the arctic is long. Gabriel on the other hand.." She tapped at her chin thoughtfully and Jesse felt like his heart was going to thud out of his chest as he waited to hear what she would say.  
  
"... yeah?" He couldn't help but prod when she seemed to take way to long to finish what she was saying. He knew he was being too eager when she gave him a long searching look.  
  
"I am not completely sure, as I have never seen him show interest in anyone besides Jack." She caught the very brief look that passed over his face and he cringed when she gave him a slightly disapproving look. "Do not be jealous, Jesse." Her fingers lightly squeezed his hand comfortingly.  
  
A heavy sigh slipped from him. "I'm not.. not really. It ain't like I don't know that I'm too young fer him to be interested." Jesse shifted and rested his cheek against the palm of his hand. "Its okay really. I'm just happy to be around him."  
  
That earned him a sympathetic look. "Just give it time. He may come around eventually. He spends enough of his time with you that there have been whispers. Keep that in mind. Gabriel has an image he has to uphold, even as commander of Blackwatch."  
  
Jesse nodded, taking what she said to heart because really, he was grateful for all the time that Gabriel allowed him to spend with him. He didn't want to make things difficult for Reyes, no matter how much he wanted to spend time with him. Made him wonder if he should back off a bit.  
  
*  
  
His sleep was fitful and Jesse's dreams dredged up uncomfortable things from his past. His unease didn't let his body rest at all. So when there was a very soft knock on his door it startled him enough to send him tumbling out of his bed in surprise. He scrambled to his feet and went to see who had wanted his attention. Once he got the door to slide open he blinked, confused. There was no one there. Jesse's eyes drifted downward and he saw a brown paper package laying on the ground. He lifted it up and a soft hum filled his mouth.  
  
"What's this..?" His soft brown eyes, still sticky with sleep glanced up and down the hall before he retreated back into his room. Taking the package over to his bed and sitting down, he turned it over in his hands looking for any hint as to who it was from.  
  
Not finding anything to give away the identity of the sender, he carefully started to work the paper open. Once he'd gotten the paper pulled away from the contents, Jesse smiled a small soft smile and felt his chest warm and his eyes water. Sitting there on his bed was a little collection of gifts, obviously from Ana and Fareeha.  
  
There was a bandana with the Overwatch logo on it, a small box of teabags which smelled of apples and cinnamon, a keychain with a cactus on it, and two rolled up papers. Those were the most curious so first he unfurled the one that was made of printer paper. It was a child's drawing, Fareeha's. The drawing had some figures with what he assumed was himself in the middle. A party hat on top of his head instead of his stetson. On one side was what he was sure was Fareeha herself holding his hand. On his other side was a drawing of Reyes, who was holding his other hand. He had to wipe his eyes before he set the drawing aside and unrolled the other paper. It was a small poster. But what struck him was that it was a poster from during the crisis, a poster that featured Gabriel Reyes. It made him smile and he carefully took the time to tape both the drawing and the mini-poster up on the wall above his bed.


End file.
